1 00:00:58,132 --> 00:01:02,260 'You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge.' 2 00:01:06,098 --> 00:01:08,340 ♪ l'm comin' straight outta Compton... 3 00:01:09,351 --> 00:01:12,103 'When somethin' happens in South Central Los Angeles 4 00:01:12,146 --> 00:01:15,265 'nothin' happens, it's just another nigger dead.' 5 00:01:16,734 --> 00:01:19,937 ♪ Straight outta Compton, crazy motherfucker named lce Cube 6 00:01:19,987 --> 00:01:22,608 ♪ From the gang called Niggaz With Attitude 7 00:01:22,656 --> 00:01:25,028 ♪ AK-47 is the tool 8 00:01:25,075 --> 00:01:26,949 ♪ Don't make me act the motherfuckin' fool 9 00:01:26,994 --> 00:01:29,070 ♪ As l leave, believe l'm stompin' 10 00:01:29,121 --> 00:01:32,407 ♪ But when l come back, boy, l'm comin' straight outta Compton ♪ 11 00:01:32,458 --> 00:01:35,328 - ¿ Y qué mira? - ¡Sí, gózale! 12 00:01:35,377 --> 00:01:37,121 My friend saw you with Ramón Camacho. 13 00:01:37,171 --> 00:01:39,543 - lt ain't true, Ricco. - Shut up, ho! 14 00:01:43,385 --> 00:01:46,137 lt's time to teach you two a lesson. 15 00:01:46,180 --> 00:01:48,967 l wouldn't do that if l was you. 16 00:01:49,933 --> 00:01:53,883 Step back unless you want me to bust a cap in your ass. 17 00:01:53,937 --> 00:01:57,852 This is my hood and these girls belong to me. 18 00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,560 Belong? 19 00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:03,310 That is a very sexist way to talk about these bitches. 20 00:02:04,448 --> 00:02:08,528 Hola. ¡Ay qué rico estás, papito! 21 00:02:08,577 --> 00:02:11,744 Bonjour. Je m'appelle Ali. 22 00:02:11,789 --> 00:02:14,077 J'habite in Staines. 23 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:39,312 You made me use me last tissue. Me ain't got another one now. 24 00:02:39,358 --> 00:02:43,142 Hijo su chingada madre. ¿Te crees chingón, cabrón? 25 00:02:43,195 --> 00:02:47,691 No sabes que te puedo matar, pinche canario. 26 00:02:48,450 --> 00:02:51,024 You what? Speak to the hand 27 00:02:51,078 --> 00:02:53,651 cos the face, it ain't listening. 28 00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:55,497 ¡Mátalo! 29 00:02:59,336 --> 00:03:00,914 Ooh! 30 00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:03,335 Sorry. 31 00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:07,458 No! 32 00:03:28,073 --> 00:03:33,660 Remember, life is the most precious gift that Jah has given us. 33 00:04:16,372 --> 00:04:18,827 Unlucky. 34 00:04:21,502 --> 00:04:25,998 You saved us. l just really want to thank you. 35 00:04:27,925 --> 00:04:30,879 ¡Ay, Dios mío! 36 00:04:30,928 --> 00:04:33,845 That's gonna need the two of us. 37 00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:39,102 Here, let me help you with that. 38 00:04:39,144 --> 00:04:42,098 ♪ .. make you want me 39 00:04:42,147 --> 00:04:44,899 ♪ And l'm-a give you some attention... ♪ 40 00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:48,653 That's very nice. 41 00:04:48,696 --> 00:04:51,187 Yes, please. 42 00:04:52,283 --> 00:04:56,197 Thank you very much. That's good. 43 00:04:58,706 --> 00:05:00,449 2 Pac, no! 44 00:05:04,837 --> 00:05:07,838 Whatever. 45 00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:13,594 Yeah, baby, play with the balls. 46 00:05:15,347 --> 00:05:17,885 - Ali, are you awake? - For real. 47 00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:22,310 Ali-Pally, do you know how late it is? You're still in bed, all asleep. 48 00:05:22,354 --> 00:05:24,513 Sorry, Nan. 49 00:05:24,565 --> 00:05:27,981 ♪ lt's nice to get up in the morning in the good old summertime 50 00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:31,941 ♪ Four and five and six o'clock in the good old summertime 51 00:05:31,989 --> 00:05:36,152 ♪ When the winter comes... 52 00:05:36,201 --> 00:05:39,155 ♪ lt's nice to get up in the morning... 53 00:05:40,247 --> 00:05:42,204 ♪ But better to stay in bed ♪ 54 00:05:43,917 --> 00:05:46,835 That's better. 55 00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:51,173 lt's not nice to play with your poopik when Nana's in the room. 56 00:05:51,216 --> 00:05:54,467 - You're teaching your class today. - Wicked. 57 00:05:54,511 --> 00:05:56,551 Out of bed, choppy chop. 58 00:06:10,819 --> 00:06:13,690 ♪ Wicked, wicked ♪ Junglist massive 59 00:06:13,739 --> 00:06:16,526 ♪ Wicked, wicked ♪ Junglist massive 60 00:06:16,575 --> 00:06:19,493 ♪ Wicked, wicked ♪ Junglist massive 61 00:06:20,454 --> 00:06:21,913 ♪ Wicked, original... 62 00:06:22,373 --> 00:06:25,290 (♪ Banging jungle beats, ragga rapping) 63 00:06:39,932 --> 00:06:40,963 ♪ Booyaka! Booyaka! 64 00:06:42,393 --> 00:06:43,851 ♪ Booyaka! Booyaka! 65 00:06:45,562 --> 00:06:46,677 ♪ Booyaka! Booyaka! 66 00:06:48,065 --> 00:06:50,817 ♪ Booyaka! Booyaka! 67 00:06:50,859 --> 00:06:52,318 ♪ lncredible... ♪ 68 00:07:07,626 --> 00:07:09,619 - Yo, yo! Aight? - Aight! 69 00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:11,164 Urgh. 70 00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:12,838 Respect. 71 00:07:12,881 --> 00:07:15,882 So, what's going down in Staines town, my nigger? 72 00:07:15,926 --> 00:07:19,971 Nigger, we just be kicking back, sucking on some gin and juice. 73 00:07:20,014 --> 00:07:21,342 Laid-back. 74 00:07:21,390 --> 00:07:23,383 - Aight. - For real. 75 00:07:23,434 --> 00:07:25,889 Jezzy, is you wearing green? 76 00:07:26,645 --> 00:07:30,560 l knew it. You is defected to the lver Heath posse, innit? 77 00:07:30,607 --> 00:07:32,730 - Let's stab him. - Wait! 78 00:07:32,776 --> 00:07:38,197 Me mum washed me yellow top with my brother's blue football socks. 79 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:42,238 All right. But you tell that slag that in the ghetto, 80 00:07:42,286 --> 00:07:47,280 washing non-colourfast synthetics at 60 degrees could be fatal. 81 00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:50,832 Will you boys move? l've told you it's a fire risk. 82 00:07:50,878 --> 00:07:54,958 Hey, yo, yo, yo, what's the problem? Four brothers chilling out, 83 00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:57,794 maxing, relaxing, it ain't too taxing. 84 00:07:57,843 --> 00:07:59,337 Boof! 85 00:07:59,386 --> 00:08:02,755 - Move! - We'll sit on the bench. Yes. 86 00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:12,471 The East Staines Massiv. 87 00:08:12,524 --> 00:08:17,482 lf it ain't the West Staines Massiv outside their precious centre. 88 00:08:19,698 --> 00:08:21,525 Booyakasha! 89 00:08:21,575 --> 00:08:23,864 Wickety-wackety-sha! Boo! 90 00:08:24,828 --> 00:08:28,032 Eastside is the best. 91 00:08:28,082 --> 00:08:30,288 Westside is the best. 92 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,541 - Eastside is the best. - Westside is the best. 93 00:08:35,589 --> 00:08:38,923 - Westside is the best. - Eastside is the best. 94 00:08:38,968 --> 00:08:41,968 Shit, l meant Westside is the best. 95 00:08:42,012 --> 00:08:45,677 Anyways, you is on our turf. 96 00:08:45,724 --> 00:08:49,342 Once you pass the Bumblebees Day Nursery, 97 00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:53,606 just before the mini-roundabout, then you is in the Westside. 98 00:08:53,649 --> 00:08:55,392 - We don't care. - Oh, yeah? 99 00:08:55,442 --> 00:08:57,814 Your mama is so fat 100 00:08:57,861 --> 00:09:01,693 that when she volunteered to clean the cages at the zoo, 101 00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:06,449 people them-a walk by and say, ''Look at that hippopotamus.'' 102 00:09:06,495 --> 00:09:09,698 That ain't fair. lt's glandular. 103 00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:15,077 - Let's leave these batty boys. - Your mama's a batty boy. 104 00:09:19,925 --> 00:09:21,965 Oooh! 105 00:09:27,808 --> 00:09:29,848 Slow down! 106 00:09:35,858 --> 00:09:37,435 Stop! 107 00:09:37,484 --> 00:09:41,434 - Eastside! - He's gonna get himself killed. 108 00:09:41,488 --> 00:09:44,026 Yo, yo, G, it's the LAPD. 109 00:09:44,074 --> 00:09:46,316 Yeah? And? 110 00:09:47,953 --> 00:09:51,203 Oh, man, you are one bad mofo. 111 00:09:51,248 --> 00:09:53,371 l is feeling it. You rocking it? 112 00:09:53,417 --> 00:09:56,169 - l'm feeling it. - l'm checking it. 113 00:09:56,211 --> 00:09:58,785 - l'm kissing it. - l'm checking it. 114 00:10:01,425 --> 00:10:03,998 Wicked! 115 00:10:04,053 --> 00:10:05,713 Wicked! 116 00:10:06,972 --> 00:10:09,012 Wicked now, wicked now, wicked! 117 00:10:09,058 --> 00:10:11,762 ♪ Me got the chick-ahn, me like the chick-ahn! 118 00:10:11,810 --> 00:10:15,262 ♪ Me got the chicken-wicken, a-rockin' and a-pickin' 119 00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:17,105 ♪ Me got... 120 00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:20,316 ♪ A to the L to the l to the G , Ali G, that's me, that's me 121 00:10:20,361 --> 00:10:23,527 ♪ A to the L to the l to the G, that's G - that's me, that's me 122 00:10:23,572 --> 00:10:25,612 ♪ R to the l to the C to the K to the Y 123 00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:28,065 ♪ That's Ricky C Ricky C to the C to the C 124 00:10:28,118 --> 00:10:29,399 ♪ Ricky C... ♪ 125 00:10:29,453 --> 00:10:31,909 Wait. l is gonna be late for me class. Let's go. 126 00:10:32,998 --> 00:10:36,782 Crack cocaine is destroying our community. 127 00:10:36,835 --> 00:10:41,213 So when a brother makes it through, they deserve our respect. 128 00:10:41,256 --> 00:10:43,333 So let's big it up for Darren, 129 00:10:43,384 --> 00:10:47,677 who's been clean and off the crack now for eight years. 130 00:10:47,721 --> 00:10:50,841 - Eight and three-quarter years. - Whatever. 131 00:10:50,891 --> 00:10:56,514 Me don't wanna say this but most of you ain't never gonna see 1 1 . 132 00:10:56,563 --> 00:10:58,639 Booka! 133 00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:01,648 Drive-bys. 134 00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:05,561 - Look, he's crying. Homo! Homo! - Hey! 135 00:11:05,614 --> 00:11:09,398 We'll have none of that language here. The word is batty boy. 136 00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:12,322 (All chant) Batty boy! Batty boy! 137 00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:17,116 Better. Everybody up! Time to give out this week's badges. 138 00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:20,334 First, big it up for me main man Andy, 139 00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:23,250 who has finally got his Hot-Wiring badge 140 00:11:23,299 --> 00:11:26,003 and his Advanced Swearing badge. 141 00:11:26,051 --> 00:11:30,131 - Shit off, you hairy dog's cock. - Respect. 142 00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:34,926 Since you has got your fifth badge, you has earned your second slit. 143 00:11:36,061 --> 00:11:39,644 Hopefully one day you'll get to be Tyrone's level. 144 00:11:39,690 --> 00:11:43,735 lf you gets any better, we'll have to start doing your pubes. 145 00:11:43,777 --> 00:11:48,404 - l don't have any. - Well, l is got millions. 146 00:11:48,449 --> 00:11:52,660 Now, remember - without realness, we is nothing. 147 00:11:52,703 --> 00:11:55,574 So, posse, keep it real! 148 00:11:55,623 --> 00:11:57,699 Keep it real! 149 00:11:59,918 --> 00:12:04,497 On the streets, your homie would take a cap in his ass for you. 150 00:12:04,548 --> 00:12:09,590 So let's start with a very basic trust exercise. 151 00:12:09,637 --> 00:12:14,345 - One, two, three. - Ali, can l have a word? 152 00:12:14,391 --> 00:12:18,721 - Sure. - lt's about the centre. 153 00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:22,187 l know how much these classes mean to you 154 00:12:22,232 --> 00:12:26,100 and how much the kids enjoy them. 155 00:12:26,153 --> 00:12:29,522 But the government's withdrawn our funding. 156 00:12:29,573 --> 00:12:33,701 They're closing down the John Nike Leisure Centre. 157 00:12:36,455 --> 00:12:40,998 You what? How is these kids meant to make it out of the ghetto now? 158 00:12:41,043 --> 00:12:44,827 - They'll have to go somewhere else. - Somewhere else? 159 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:48,794 Do you know what this centre means to them? And to me? 160 00:12:48,842 --> 00:12:52,792 This is the spiritual home of the West Staines Massiv. 161 00:12:52,846 --> 00:12:55,764 This is like what Mecca is to the Jews. 162 00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:58,892 lt's like what Kentucky is to chickens. 163 00:12:58,936 --> 00:13:03,764 And it was here when me first felt me Julie's... 164 00:13:04,858 --> 00:13:08,559 Ali, there's nothing you can do. 165 00:13:08,612 --> 00:13:12,112 Now, you better go and tell the kids. 166 00:13:31,427 --> 00:13:35,092 l ain't never gonna let them close us down. 167 00:13:35,139 --> 00:13:37,677 Keep it real, yeah? 168 00:13:40,227 --> 00:13:43,678 'Dinner with the Belgian prime minister at eight. 169 00:13:43,731 --> 00:13:47,479 'And the Deputy Prime Minister wishes to speak to you.' 170 00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:51,524 - Has he heard the poll results yet? - Yes, l wish l hadn't. 171 00:13:51,572 --> 00:13:53,695 Gallup puts us 22 points behind. 172 00:13:53,741 --> 00:13:56,196 - And MORl? - 23 points behind. 173 00:13:56,243 --> 00:13:59,161 The youth vote's deserting us in droves. 174 00:13:59,204 --> 00:14:01,695 Focus groups say we're out of touch. 175 00:14:01,749 --> 00:14:03,706 - We are. - Don't be silly. 176 00:14:03,751 --> 00:14:05,827 Will we lose this by-election? 177 00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:10,255 We haven't lost Staines in 20 years and we're not about to start. 178 00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:12,173 We just have an image problem. 179 00:14:12,217 --> 00:14:16,085 We have to find a candidate who will improve that image. 180 00:14:16,138 --> 00:14:18,296 Somebody young. 181 00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:22,096 - Somebody ethnic. - Somebody in touch. 182 00:14:22,144 --> 00:14:24,302 - Exactly. - You're right. 183 00:14:24,355 --> 00:14:29,811 We need an intellectually superior candidate to guarantee us victory. 184 00:14:30,527 --> 00:14:32,769 - Easy now, Mrs Hugh. - Booyakasha. 185 00:14:32,821 --> 00:14:36,190 - ls me Julie about? - She's upstairs. 186 00:14:36,241 --> 00:14:40,370 Hello, baby, l's been missing you so much today. 187 00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:45,039 You is looking so fine. All l want to do is pull your panties down... 188 00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:46,910 Ali. 189 00:14:46,961 --> 00:14:49,915 - Hello, me Julie. - Stop feeling up Nina. 190 00:14:49,964 --> 00:14:53,795 - l got confused. - You're never confused with Tracey. 191 00:14:53,842 --> 00:14:57,508 - Hello, Ali. - Hello. 192 00:14:57,554 --> 00:14:59,630 You know you is me only bitch. 193 00:14:59,682 --> 00:15:02,007 Ho. Lady? 194 00:15:02,059 --> 00:15:05,677 When me close me eyes, you is the only girl me think about. 195 00:15:05,729 --> 00:15:08,399 ♪ Gal flex, time to have sex 196 00:15:09,316 --> 00:15:11,356 ♪ Jump in my Lex, steam a blunt, pop a vex 197 00:15:11,402 --> 00:15:13,560 ♪ Now you know that my style is rated XX... ♪ 198 00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:18,025 - Ali, open your eyes. - Sorry, there was something in them. 199 00:15:18,075 --> 00:15:21,159 Because there's these fleas going around, 200 00:15:21,203 --> 00:15:25,450 two of them, coming in again and they're in me eyes! 201 00:15:25,499 --> 00:15:28,037 ♪ Open up dem legs a-wider... ♪ 202 00:15:28,085 --> 00:15:31,335 You've been a very bad boy and you need to be punished. 203 00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:34,464 - Are you a bad boy? - Yes, l am. 204 00:15:34,508 --> 00:15:36,999 My skin is so dry. 205 00:15:37,052 --> 00:15:40,670 So for being a bad boy, l want you to rub oil into me, 206 00:15:40,723 --> 00:15:44,767 paying special attention to my breasts and my batty crease. 207 00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:47,562 OK, l will do that. 208 00:15:47,604 --> 00:15:52,017 But first, l want you to take your hat off, you naughty boy. 209 00:15:52,067 --> 00:15:54,143 But me never take me hat off. 210 00:15:54,194 --> 00:15:56,768 You take that off and l'll take these off. 211 00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:58,980 OK. 212 00:16:05,122 --> 00:16:07,743 Now l'm going to milk you. 213 00:16:07,791 --> 00:16:10,662 - 'Ali.' - Give me one more sec. 214 00:16:10,711 --> 00:16:14,127 - Behave, Alistair. - J-Lo. 215 00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:16,498 They is closing down the centre. 216 00:16:16,550 --> 00:16:20,963 l is gonna go on hunger strike until they save it...or until l die. 217 00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:26,220 So just in case l do join Tupac and Biggie in that ghetto in the sky, 218 00:16:26,268 --> 00:16:29,684 l's come here to bone you one last time. 219 00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:32,517 Mr Johnson might have something to say about that. 220 00:16:32,566 --> 00:16:35,484 - Can l watch? - l got not problem with that. 221 00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:37,271 Ali! 222 00:16:37,321 --> 00:16:40,026 Don't do nothing stupid, all right? 223 00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:50,374 Hear me now. She ain't really me Julie. 224 00:16:50,417 --> 00:16:54,036 ln real life l is going out with someone much fitter. 225 00:16:54,088 --> 00:16:57,457 But they do that to make me more accessible. 226 00:16:57,508 --> 00:17:02,004 Which means you girls think l will knob you, even if you is a minger. 227 00:17:08,852 --> 00:17:11,640 OK, you got ten seconds till you start. 228 00:17:11,689 --> 00:17:13,765 More! More! 229 00:17:15,442 --> 00:17:18,229 OK, and go. 230 00:17:18,279 --> 00:17:20,686 Mr G, why are you on hunger strike? 231 00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:23,526 ln the struggle for... 232 00:17:25,202 --> 00:17:29,698 ln the struggle for justice, l is willing to lay down me life. 233 00:17:29,748 --> 00:17:33,746 Just like Martin Luther...Vandross did. 234 00:17:36,422 --> 00:17:40,585 Local party chairman Alan Swan has some names for the by-election. 235 00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:43,754 This is a great honour. l've always admired... 236 00:17:43,804 --> 00:17:48,181 - The names, Swan. - Right. Well, er... 237 00:17:48,225 --> 00:17:53,848 There are three really outstanding candidates that match your criteria. 238 00:17:53,897 --> 00:17:58,109 Top of the list is Andrew Hamilton, PhD political science, 239 00:17:58,152 --> 00:18:01,153 studied PPE at Oxford, gained a starred first. 240 00:18:01,196 --> 00:18:03,818 Have you tried these new chicken dippers? 241 00:18:03,866 --> 00:18:07,650 - They're really good. - What sauce are you going for? 242 00:18:07,703 --> 00:18:09,327 l think it's barbecue. 243 00:18:17,171 --> 00:18:19,459 l can't take it! 244 00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:30,297 Chicken dippers! 245 00:18:33,020 --> 00:18:36,104 - Good, we can go home now. - Oh, nips. 246 00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:38,473 l'll get the keys, yeah? 247 00:18:38,525 --> 00:18:41,729 Starting again from...now! 248 00:18:41,779 --> 00:18:45,112 ♪ Bring it! What? We right here... ♪ 249 00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:48,281 No. 250 00:18:49,370 --> 00:18:53,498 ♪ We right here, this is ours and we don't share ♪ 251 00:18:53,540 --> 00:18:57,953 - What has we got here, then? - l is doing a serious protest. 252 00:18:58,003 --> 00:19:00,755 ln that case, we'll leave you to it. 253 00:19:00,798 --> 00:19:03,549 Oh, thanks. 254 00:19:03,592 --> 00:19:06,000 There was just one thing, though. 255 00:19:09,890 --> 00:19:12,677 ♪ ..joint made this year that'll knock till 2003 256 00:19:12,726 --> 00:19:15,893 ♪ Y'all gonna see that the hottest nigger out there 257 00:19:15,938 --> 00:19:19,638 ♪ Was and will be me ♪ Just like that 258 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,150 ♪ l can go away for a minute 259 00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:23,766 ♪ Do some other shit but bounce right back... ♪ 260 00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:30,824 Grow, Biggie, grow. l has gotta get a semi lob-on. 261 00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:33,076 Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Lopez. 262 00:19:35,291 --> 00:19:40,533 Jennifer Lopez lezzing off with the big-thighed one in Destiny's Child. 263 00:19:46,468 --> 00:19:49,422 Look here now! Look at my massive beast! 264 00:19:51,807 --> 00:19:54,345 You filthy animal! 265 00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:05,311 Oh, Shep, this rail is very dirty. 266 00:20:05,362 --> 00:20:07,984 lt's going to need a lot of polishing. 267 00:20:09,992 --> 00:20:13,990 PhD in economics, three years at Harvard, age 34... 268 00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:17,204 Swan? ls there any reason why there should be 269 00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:21,199 an absurdly dressed, half-naked man chained to a fence 270 00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:24,788 being tossed off by an old, blind council worker? 271 00:20:27,468 --> 00:20:32,889 lgnore him. lt's the local idiot making some pathetic protest. 272 00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:35,304 Unchain him and bring him in here. 273 00:20:35,351 --> 00:20:37,972 - But l'm trying to... - Bring him in, Swan. 274 00:20:41,815 --> 00:20:44,733 Straight ahead at the top of the stairs. 275 00:20:46,362 --> 00:20:50,311 ♪ Freak me, baby ♪ Yeah, just like that 276 00:20:50,366 --> 00:20:52,857 ♪ Freak me, baby ♪ Come on, come on 277 00:20:52,993 --> 00:20:55,911 ♪ Freak me, baby 278 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,872 ♪ Let me lick you up and down 279 00:20:58,916 --> 00:21:01,454 ♪ Till you say stop 280 00:21:02,878 --> 00:21:05,879 ♪ Let me play with your body, baby 281 00:21:05,923 --> 00:21:08,081 ♪ Make you real hot ♪ 282 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:15,507 ♪ Let me do all the tings you want me to do 283 00:21:18,227 --> 00:21:24,395 ♪ Cos tonight, baby, l wanna get freaky with you ♪ 284 00:21:26,694 --> 00:21:30,941 l'm Kate Hedges, the Deputy Prime Minister's secretary. 285 00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:34,026 Come in and you can pull your pants up now. 286 00:21:40,124 --> 00:21:43,824 Hello, l'm David Carlton, the Deputy Prime Minister. 287 00:21:43,877 --> 00:21:47,922 Hello. l is Ali G, the dominating MC. 288 00:21:47,965 --> 00:21:51,001 Making bitches touch their punani. 289 00:21:51,051 --> 00:21:54,420 - The number after two, it be... - Three. 290 00:21:54,471 --> 00:21:57,840 Not Ali A, not Ali B, not Ali C, not Ali D, 291 00:21:57,891 --> 00:21:59,551 not Ali... 292 00:22:00,728 --> 00:22:02,969 E... 293 00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:05,098 not Ali... 294 00:22:07,401 --> 00:22:09,144 F... 295 00:22:09,194 --> 00:22:11,104 - but Ali... - G. 296 00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:14,987 Bo! Your rhymes is tight for a honkey, yes, sir. 297 00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:17,572 That's his full name and address. 298 00:22:17,620 --> 00:22:19,778 Tell me, Ali, do you have a job? 299 00:22:19,830 --> 00:22:22,701 l is recently gone on the dole. 300 00:22:22,791 --> 00:22:25,911 - When? - Eight years and three months ago. 301 00:22:25,961 --> 00:22:29,295 lt says here you claim disability. Are you...? 302 00:22:29,340 --> 00:22:32,791 Yes, l is actually spasticated. 303 00:22:32,843 --> 00:22:35,085 l is got a terrible DJing injury 304 00:22:35,137 --> 00:22:38,471 and still ain't got full mobility in me mixing finger. 305 00:22:38,515 --> 00:22:41,552 Fok-chickety-fok-fok-fresh. Ow. 306 00:22:41,602 --> 00:22:45,765 Everything down there is still working. Oh, yes. Yes. 307 00:22:45,814 --> 00:22:50,275 Ali, erm...would you sit down? Please, sit down. 308 00:22:53,572 --> 00:22:58,649 - Would you ever become an MP? - What for? lt's full of pricks. 309 00:22:58,702 --> 00:23:02,486 That's a little harsh. l'm an MP, am l a prick? 310 00:23:02,539 --> 00:23:06,537 - Yes. - Let's try a different angle. 311 00:23:08,295 --> 00:23:10,751 ls there nothing you'd like to change? 312 00:23:10,798 --> 00:23:14,747 Me'd wanna save the John Nike Leisure Centre, obviously. 313 00:23:14,802 --> 00:23:18,218 As the MP for Staines, you could achieve that. 314 00:23:18,263 --> 00:23:20,755 Would you stand in this by-election? 315 00:23:20,808 --> 00:23:23,559 Me gotta be honest, me ain't actually bi. 316 00:23:23,602 --> 00:23:25,678 - Well... - l mean, 317 00:23:25,729 --> 00:23:27,971 obviously l done it with two girls. 318 00:23:28,023 --> 00:23:30,099 Well, l seen it on the internet. 319 00:23:30,150 --> 00:23:34,896 But me would never feel completely comfortable being bummed by a man. 320 00:23:34,947 --> 00:23:37,153 A lot of people say never say ever 321 00:23:37,199 --> 00:23:41,149 but me feel strongly that me exit hole should stay me exit hole 322 00:23:41,203 --> 00:23:44,952 and never become me entry hole, you know what l is saying? 323 00:23:44,999 --> 00:23:47,668 Yes, yes. 324 00:23:47,710 --> 00:23:50,664 Well, it's been a pleasure meeting you. 325 00:23:50,713 --> 00:23:53,667 David. 326 00:23:56,343 --> 00:23:58,170 Later, sweetheart. 327 00:24:14,445 --> 00:24:16,817 David? 328 00:24:16,864 --> 00:24:20,944 What are you doing? He was the biggest idiot l have ever met. 329 00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:25,038 - Choose him and we'll never win. - l know. 330 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,995 There'll be a leadership crisis. The PM will be out. 331 00:24:29,043 --> 00:24:31,747 And who could possibly replace him? 332 00:24:34,298 --> 00:24:38,378 Ali has two weeks to lose us 18,000 votes. 333 00:24:38,427 --> 00:24:40,669 Let's get him on the campaign trail. 334 00:24:44,933 --> 00:24:49,679 Easy, rude boy. Me name be Ali G and me is here representing Staines. 335 00:24:49,730 --> 00:24:52,102 Can me count on your vote? 336 00:24:52,149 --> 00:24:54,557 - Definitely not. - Hairy muff. 337 00:24:54,610 --> 00:24:56,187 Seeing as l is here, 338 00:24:56,236 --> 00:25:00,020 could me interest you in a quarter of Moroccan black? 339 00:25:00,074 --> 00:25:02,066 lt's well good shit! 340 00:25:02,117 --> 00:25:05,569 Dave, it's your turn to shit through the letterbox. 341 00:25:05,621 --> 00:25:09,239 Our anti-bullying programme has won lots of praise. 342 00:25:09,291 --> 00:25:13,834 lnstances of bullying in this school are at an all-time low. 343 00:25:13,879 --> 00:25:17,711 Jonathan used to suffer terribly from bullies. 344 00:25:17,758 --> 00:25:20,759 l ain't surprised. Look at him. 345 00:25:20,803 --> 00:25:26,592 Hey, fatty bum bum. Hey, fatty bum bum. Want another cream cake? 346 00:25:27,685 --> 00:25:29,973 Boiiing! Boiiing! Boiiing! 347 00:25:32,147 --> 00:25:34,555 He is well fat, though. 348 00:25:34,608 --> 00:25:39,851 All you motherfuckers, fuck-fuck-fuck fuckers! 349 00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:44,033 Vote for the G, the motherfuckin' G. Me, the motherfuckin' G. 350 00:25:44,076 --> 00:25:46,828 All the bitches in the house say yo. 351 00:25:49,081 --> 00:25:54,420 Vote for me cos me know what you lezzers want. 352 00:25:54,461 --> 00:26:00,085 l is a big supporter of your cause and l is got many of your videos. 353 00:26:00,134 --> 00:26:05,590 lf you vote for me, me give you me pledge to lower taxes on strap-ons. 354 00:26:07,766 --> 00:26:10,767 Why is you getting so eggy? ls you all on? 355 00:26:10,811 --> 00:26:15,272 Ladies and gentlemen, to commemorate the town hall extension, 356 00:26:15,316 --> 00:26:19,360 we're asking all the candidates to lay down a brick. 357 00:26:19,403 --> 00:26:21,728 Ali, would you lay one for us now? 358 00:26:21,780 --> 00:26:24,318 - What, here? - We would be honoured. 359 00:26:24,366 --> 00:26:26,573 - ln front of everyone? - Yes. 360 00:26:41,550 --> 00:26:43,377 Not bad. 361 00:26:43,427 --> 00:26:45,883 This is absolutely vital. 362 00:26:45,929 --> 00:26:48,171 10 days ago we were 14 points ahead, 363 00:26:48,223 --> 00:26:51,094 with one day to go we are eight points behind. 364 00:26:51,143 --> 00:26:54,892 Listen. Did you get the manifesto that l sent to you? 365 00:26:56,815 --> 00:27:00,019 - You got a roach? - Er... For real. 366 00:27:06,617 --> 00:27:10,317 - You got another roach? - Yeah, for real. 367 00:27:10,371 --> 00:27:13,953 - Yeah. - Wicked. 368 00:27:13,999 --> 00:27:16,669 Yes. lt was very helpful. 369 00:27:16,710 --> 00:27:20,079 30 seconds till we're on air. Come with me. 370 00:27:20,130 --> 00:27:23,831 Good luck. Don't hold back. 371 00:27:29,765 --> 00:27:34,593 ln the most crucial by-election of the past decade, 372 00:27:34,645 --> 00:27:38,939 we're joined by ex-Environment Secretary David Griffiths 373 00:27:38,983 --> 00:27:41,059 and newcomer Ali G. 374 00:27:41,110 --> 00:27:44,194 This debate will help you make up your mind. 375 00:27:44,238 --> 00:27:48,615 Ali, if elected, what would you do for Staines? 376 00:27:48,659 --> 00:27:51,328 Me'd save the John Nike Leisure Centre. 377 00:27:51,370 --> 00:27:53,943 You can't mean your sole policy 378 00:27:53,998 --> 00:27:59,240 is to save a centre that's barely used and a terrible drain on funds? 379 00:27:59,295 --> 00:28:01,916 What are your other policies? 380 00:28:01,964 --> 00:28:06,341 - My other policies? - Yes, you must have some. 381 00:28:09,221 --> 00:28:11,380 Well... 382 00:28:12,516 --> 00:28:17,855 l think it is well important to reduce inflay-tee-on 383 00:28:17,896 --> 00:28:23,318 and also to invest in the nehuss. 384 00:28:25,070 --> 00:28:27,312 The nahuss. 385 00:28:27,364 --> 00:28:30,282 - Oh, the NHS. - You're reading from my sheet. 386 00:28:30,326 --> 00:28:34,454 No, l ain't. l is thought of them things meself, you copied from me. 387 00:28:34,496 --> 00:28:36,489 lt wasn't me. 388 00:28:36,540 --> 00:28:40,123 Then perhaps you'd tell me where you stand on the ERM? 389 00:28:40,169 --> 00:28:43,869 No problem. Me thought their first album was wack. 390 00:28:43,922 --> 00:28:45,832 Me hate all indie music. 391 00:28:45,883 --> 00:28:50,177 The voters deserve better, you're making a mockery of this debate. 392 00:28:51,263 --> 00:28:53,885 What? ls you looking in the mirror? 393 00:28:53,932 --> 00:28:58,725 You're making it obvious to the voters what a buffoon you are. 394 00:28:58,771 --> 00:29:02,389 Talking about yourself again? l think so. 395 00:29:02,441 --> 00:29:05,940 You are an embarrassment to the people of Staines. 396 00:29:05,986 --> 00:29:08,904 That is not a nice way to talk about your mum. 397 00:29:08,948 --> 00:29:14,155 l put it to you that you are the worst possible candidate 398 00:29:14,203 --> 00:29:17,073 ever put forward by your miserable party. 399 00:29:17,122 --> 00:29:19,744 Well, l put it to you... 400 00:29:28,425 --> 00:29:30,881 that you sucked off a horse. 401 00:29:34,139 --> 00:29:37,140 l did not, er...suck off a horse. 402 00:29:38,978 --> 00:29:42,809 l have already dealt with this issue with the party chairman 403 00:29:42,856 --> 00:29:45,063 and as l explained to him, 404 00:29:45,109 --> 00:29:48,976 l was out hunting with a friend 405 00:29:49,029 --> 00:29:53,857 and l slipped onto the end of a horse's phallus, 406 00:29:53,909 --> 00:29:59,615 which, unfortunately, owing to it being the mating season, 407 00:29:59,665 --> 00:30:02,370 was aroused. 408 00:30:06,005 --> 00:30:09,089 'Why is he going? Does he need to go and do a pony? 409 00:30:10,426 --> 00:30:13,177 'ls that a yes or a neigh? 410 00:30:13,220 --> 00:30:15,972 'Why isn't he speaking? ls he a bit hoarse? 411 00:30:16,015 --> 00:30:19,265 'Was that a lie or the tr-hoof?' 412 00:30:19,310 --> 00:30:23,177 Tell you what, they ought to read the gallop polls tomorrow! 413 00:30:23,230 --> 00:30:29,434 'More drama with the unexpected withdrawal of David Griffiths. 414 00:30:29,486 --> 00:30:33,614 'Tomorrow's vote is now between Thomas Alvarez and Ali G, 415 00:30:33,657 --> 00:30:35,864 'with the result too close to call.' 416 00:30:36,368 --> 00:30:41,992 Thomas Alvarez, Liberal Democrat, 5,080 votes. 417 00:30:45,294 --> 00:30:47,500 Alistair Leslie Graham... 418 00:30:47,546 --> 00:30:50,333 Who? What a stupid name. 419 00:30:50,382 --> 00:30:55,590 - 5,086 votes. - You won! You did it! 420 00:30:56,889 --> 00:30:59,462 And l now declare 421 00:30:59,516 --> 00:31:05,021 Ali G has been duly elected as Member of Parliament for Staines. 422 00:31:10,694 --> 00:31:14,359 Do you want to see the new Member of Parliament, aight? 423 00:31:17,826 --> 00:31:22,488 'Look how l is touching meself. Do you like that? 424 00:31:22,539 --> 00:31:24,283 'ls that turning you on?' 425 00:31:24,333 --> 00:31:26,622 - 'Not really.' - 'Mm. 426 00:31:26,669 --> 00:31:30,002 'Give a kiss to Mr Gherkin.' 427 00:31:30,047 --> 00:31:35,468 - 'You're so long and hard!' - 'That's the handbrake.' 428 00:31:35,511 --> 00:31:38,262 'Now, let's get jiggy.' 429 00:31:38,305 --> 00:31:41,840 ♪ Mr Boombastic, reggae fantastic! 430 00:31:41,892 --> 00:31:44,098 ♪ Take it as a dooby-dooby-doogy 431 00:31:44,144 --> 00:31:46,102 ♪ Mr Ro-Ro-Ro-Ro-Ro... 432 00:31:46,146 --> 00:31:49,396 ♪ Mmmmmmantic! ♪ 433 00:31:53,946 --> 00:31:55,191 ls it in yet? 434 00:32:10,087 --> 00:32:13,503 Big up yourself. Respect. 435 00:32:13,549 --> 00:32:15,874 - Big up yourself. - MP for Staines. 436 00:32:15,926 --> 00:32:20,054 l know you. You was the geezer that did it with that prossie. 437 00:32:22,474 --> 00:32:24,134 Respect. 438 00:32:26,353 --> 00:32:29,520 - Because this government... - Order! Order! 439 00:32:31,025 --> 00:32:35,354 This government's conduct of economic policy 440 00:32:35,404 --> 00:32:38,239 has not only been incompetent, 441 00:32:38,282 --> 00:32:44,071 it has been unscrupulous, untrustworthy and untruthful. 442 00:32:44,121 --> 00:32:48,071 They is dissin' our posse. l is gonna sort this. 443 00:32:48,125 --> 00:32:52,039 - Order. Order now. - And look at this! 444 00:32:52,087 --> 00:32:57,461 Order! Order! Will the Member for Staines return to his seat? 445 00:32:57,509 --> 00:33:01,721 Will the Member for Staines return to his seat?! 446 00:33:01,764 --> 00:33:05,761 Order! Order in the House! 447 00:33:09,772 --> 00:33:13,900 - What is he doing? - l'm not sure, Prime Minister. 448 00:33:16,570 --> 00:33:20,271 - For you to come down to me... - Shhh. 449 00:33:20,324 --> 00:33:24,072 Relax ya batty. 450 00:33:30,292 --> 00:33:32,581 Look at you! 451 00:33:32,628 --> 00:33:36,044 All you ever do all day long is cuss each other. 452 00:33:36,090 --> 00:33:40,218 R-E-S-T-E-C-P. 453 00:33:41,303 --> 00:33:45,965 - Do you even know what that spells? - Restecp? 454 00:33:48,978 --> 00:33:52,809 - Yes. Restecp. - Restecp. 455 00:33:52,856 --> 00:33:57,269 How's anyone out there meant to restecp each other 456 00:33:57,319 --> 00:34:03,737 if you lot in here don't even start restecp-ing one another? 457 00:34:03,784 --> 00:34:05,575 Sergeant, eject him. 458 00:34:05,619 --> 00:34:09,664 Wanna know how to make this country better? lt's simple. Two words. 459 00:34:09,707 --> 00:34:12,826 - Keep it real. - That's three words. 460 00:34:12,876 --> 00:34:17,005 Don't be a spanner. ''lt'' ain't a real word. lt's short for ''innit''. 461 00:34:17,047 --> 00:34:21,840 - Keep it real! - He is banned from the House. 462 00:34:21,885 --> 00:34:23,961 ls it cos l is black? 463 00:34:24,013 --> 00:34:27,132 What in God's name have you done to me? 464 00:34:27,182 --> 00:34:30,634 l want that idiot in my office with his resignation. 465 00:34:30,686 --> 00:34:32,228 Yes, Prime Minister. 466 00:34:32,271 --> 00:34:35,188 Come in. 467 00:34:37,693 --> 00:34:41,560 - Listen, me know me done wrong. - Haven't you read the papers? 468 00:34:53,083 --> 00:34:54,578 l can't believe it. 469 00:34:56,420 --> 00:34:58,578 This dog can play table tennis. 470 00:34:58,631 --> 00:35:02,759 - lt's the press, they love you. - But how can he hold the bat? 471 00:35:02,801 --> 00:35:06,502 The Deputy Prime Minister and l were wondering, 472 00:35:06,555 --> 00:35:09,591 what if l asked you to join the Cabinet? 473 00:35:09,642 --> 00:35:11,764 No, think about it. 474 00:35:11,810 --> 00:35:15,938 Ali joins the Cabinet, the two of them are publicly aligned. 475 00:35:15,981 --> 00:35:18,935 Ali slips up, he takes that old prat with him. 476 00:35:18,984 --> 00:35:20,644 Why would Ali join? 477 00:35:20,694 --> 00:35:25,356 l've told the Prime Minister to offer to save his leisure centre. 478 00:35:25,407 --> 00:35:28,492 - Are you mad? That would... - Let me finish. 479 00:35:28,535 --> 00:35:34,870 Offers to save his leisure centre if Ali gets him a 20-point poll lead. 480 00:35:34,917 --> 00:35:40,124 Now l is in the Cabinet and all, could l see the red button? 481 00:35:40,172 --> 00:35:42,461 - Can l trust you? - Yes. 482 00:35:42,508 --> 00:35:44,714 All right. Here we are. 483 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:50,715 One touch on that red button could destroy the whole world. 484 00:35:50,766 --> 00:35:54,265 - That is very interesting because... - No! 485 00:35:54,311 --> 00:35:56,185 Fell for it! 486 00:35:56,230 --> 00:35:59,681 Ali, please, stand away. Dear me. 487 00:35:59,733 --> 00:36:02,271 - Can't we blow up something? - No! 488 00:36:02,319 --> 00:36:03,778 - Please? - No. 489 00:36:03,821 --> 00:36:06,905 - Somewhere shitty like Wales. - Ali. 490 00:36:06,949 --> 00:36:09,238 Their Prime Minister called your mum a slag. 491 00:36:09,285 --> 00:36:11,277 l am the Prime Minister of Wales! 492 00:36:11,328 --> 00:36:13,950 You shouldn't say that about your mum. 493 00:36:13,998 --> 00:36:18,624 Your first Cabinet meeting is Thursday. lt's about asylum seekers. 494 00:36:19,670 --> 00:36:24,047 l'm sending you on a fact-finding mission. 495 00:36:24,091 --> 00:36:29,168 Anyone trying to smuggle will probably come through here. 496 00:36:29,221 --> 00:36:32,388 And it's not just immigrants. Look at this. 497 00:36:34,393 --> 00:36:38,889 You'll be appalled. Look at this crap. 498 00:36:38,939 --> 00:36:43,767 Marijuana smuggled in from Europe, South America and the Middle East. 499 00:36:43,819 --> 00:36:46,654 That is terrible. 500 00:36:47,781 --> 00:36:49,904 - ls there any skunk? - Yes. 501 00:36:49,950 --> 00:36:53,200 Some scumbag smuggled in 15 kilos of this. 502 00:36:53,245 --> 00:36:56,697 lt's the strongest super skunk ever discovered. 503 00:36:58,792 --> 00:37:03,122 Over here are the confiscated weapons and this is where we keep... 504 00:37:09,011 --> 00:37:11,419 You must have such a laugh here. 505 00:37:12,473 --> 00:37:15,177 - No, we don't. - Oh. 506 00:37:15,225 --> 00:37:19,638 Next we have the mountains of hardcore pornography, 507 00:37:19,688 --> 00:37:23,223 most of it from Germany. You may want to look away. 508 00:37:23,275 --> 00:37:26,691 No. l is got a job to do. 509 00:37:30,574 --> 00:37:33,777 l know. lt makes me feel sick, too. 510 00:37:34,870 --> 00:37:38,784 l have to compile me report now, so if you'd fuck off. 511 00:37:38,832 --> 00:37:41,039 Certainly, sir. 512 00:37:41,085 --> 00:37:45,581 Westminster will be sending down experts to help with me research. 513 00:37:48,759 --> 00:37:51,167 Hello. We is experts. 514 00:38:00,521 --> 00:38:02,846 'Sprütze in die Arse!' 515 00:38:05,567 --> 00:38:09,897 Ali, tell us, what did you find out in Dover? 516 00:38:09,947 --> 00:38:13,197 Me saw a lot of stuff, most of it from Germany, 517 00:38:13,242 --> 00:38:16,907 of these blokes going in through the back door. 518 00:38:16,954 --> 00:38:20,489 He's right. ln Germany, l experienced it myself. 519 00:38:20,541 --> 00:38:23,707 - Respect. - l remember one time 520 00:38:23,752 --> 00:38:26,670 there were these two huge African men 521 00:38:26,714 --> 00:38:31,210 who managed to squeeze themselves into...this tiny box. 522 00:38:32,553 --> 00:38:35,803 - How long was they in there for? - 15 hours. 523 00:38:35,848 --> 00:38:39,133 - lt was incredibly emotional. - lt must've hurt. 524 00:38:39,184 --> 00:38:42,351 - lt still does. - Sorry. 525 00:38:43,605 --> 00:38:47,473 So, John, what are we going to do about these asylum seekers? 526 00:38:47,526 --> 00:38:51,524 We can't let them all in, it would cripple the economy. 527 00:38:51,572 --> 00:38:53,031 Oooh! 528 00:38:53,073 --> 00:38:56,110 - Yes, Ali? - Let's think about this. 529 00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:59,410 What's the main thing we ain't got enough of in the UK? 530 00:38:59,455 --> 00:39:00,913 - Hospitals. - No. 531 00:39:00,956 --> 00:39:04,041 - Libraries? - Behave! 532 00:39:04,084 --> 00:39:06,575 We ain't got enough fit women. 533 00:39:06,629 --> 00:39:09,464 And we's got too many mingers. 534 00:39:09,506 --> 00:39:11,879 No offence, Karen. 535 00:39:11,925 --> 00:39:16,587 So we let in all the fit refugees and turn away the rank ones. 536 00:39:16,639 --> 00:39:18,678 Then we solve both problems. 537 00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:23,053 We is knobbing two birds with one connie. 538 00:39:23,103 --> 00:39:26,768 - This is ludicrous. - What do you think? 539 00:39:26,815 --> 00:39:30,149 l think...we should keep it real. 540 00:39:31,487 --> 00:39:33,029 Fit. 541 00:39:33,072 --> 00:39:35,610 Fit...fit. 542 00:39:36,825 --> 00:39:38,783 Wait. 543 00:39:38,827 --> 00:39:40,903 Back to Slovenia. 544 00:39:45,209 --> 00:39:48,542 Education standards are at their lowest for 15 years. 545 00:39:48,587 --> 00:39:53,249 That is because kids is learning stuff that ain't no use to them. 546 00:39:53,300 --> 00:39:58,211 Who here has ever used maths? Or English? 547 00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:04,634 Exactly. Let's start making education relevant. 548 00:40:04,687 --> 00:40:10,310 lf Kevin buys six ounces of Jamaican sinsemilla from Fat Tony 549 00:40:10,359 --> 00:40:13,146 for £480 cash in hand, 550 00:40:13,195 --> 00:40:16,529 and has to divide it amongst 1 1 of his customers, 551 00:40:16,573 --> 00:40:19,147 how much should he charge for an eighth 552 00:40:19,201 --> 00:40:22,866 so he can make £100 profit to pay off his child support? 553 00:40:22,913 --> 00:40:28,418 The situation in Northern lreland is spiralling out of control. 554 00:40:28,460 --> 00:40:29,955 Hear me now. 555 00:40:30,004 --> 00:40:34,048 The only way you is ever gonna get Hindus to stop killing lslams... 556 00:40:34,091 --> 00:40:38,171 - Catholics fighting Protestants. - Whatever. 557 00:40:38,220 --> 00:40:43,594 ..is to get some really fit woman to get her babylons out for peace. 558 00:40:43,642 --> 00:40:46,098 - Prime Minister... - Not you, love. 559 00:40:46,145 --> 00:40:51,898 The army is costing the British taxpayer £4.2 billion a year. 560 00:40:51,942 --> 00:40:55,228 How will the government reduce this figure? 561 00:40:55,279 --> 00:40:58,862 We is gonna hire the A-Team. 562 00:40:58,907 --> 00:41:01,577 Her Majesty the Queen. 563 00:41:03,746 --> 00:41:07,743 Your Majesty, may l introduce Ali G, MP for Staines? 564 00:41:25,476 --> 00:41:31,146 Hello, cheeky. You is much fitter than you look on them coins. 565 00:41:31,190 --> 00:41:34,855 Next time me put a 50p piece in me pocket 566 00:41:34,902 --> 00:41:39,279 me will feel honoured having your head so close to me nuts. 567 00:41:39,323 --> 00:41:43,617 Nothing's working, the jobless figures are at their highest level. 568 00:41:46,538 --> 00:41:51,450 The UK has a special relationship with the US. Do you like Bush? 569 00:41:51,502 --> 00:41:58,121 Me love bush. Me love anything that gives foliage to the punani area. 570 00:41:59,593 --> 00:42:02,084 Would you do a dance for me, please? 571 00:42:08,352 --> 00:42:12,184 - Oh, my God. - Shaven haven. Respect. 572 00:42:12,231 --> 00:42:17,225 - 'As Ali G's influence grows...' - '..a 12-point lead.' 573 00:42:17,278 --> 00:42:19,733 'The Queen says he's a breath of fresh air.' 574 00:42:19,780 --> 00:42:24,489 - 'Ali G mania sweeps the UK.' - 'Charismatic MP Ali G...' 575 00:42:31,834 --> 00:42:35,582 ''As of 12 o'clock, all Rizlas will be free. 576 00:42:35,629 --> 00:42:41,335 ''To discourage their use, there will be a levy of 25p on panties. 577 00:42:41,385 --> 00:42:44,054 ''This will exclude thongs. 578 00:42:44,096 --> 00:42:46,421 ''As for the health service, 579 00:42:46,473 --> 00:42:49,677 ''marijuana will be made available free on the NHS 580 00:42:49,727 --> 00:42:54,104 ''for the treatment of chronic diseases such as itchy scrot. 581 00:42:56,984 --> 00:43:01,397 ''Furthermore, l am a bell end...'' 582 00:43:06,327 --> 00:43:10,276 - l can't be expected... - Get along, David. 583 00:43:11,457 --> 00:43:13,829 ''l like to take it up da batty. 584 00:43:15,169 --> 00:43:20,127 ''Yes, l do. lt feel really nice and is me favourite. 585 00:43:22,301 --> 00:43:26,512 ''l used to be a girl and wear knicks. Honest. 586 00:43:28,641 --> 00:43:30,135 ''Ask me mum.'' 587 00:43:40,569 --> 00:43:45,564 War looms in Central Africa. Britain to host a peace conference. 588 00:43:45,616 --> 00:43:49,614 A triumphant budget from Britain's most controversial MP. 589 00:43:53,916 --> 00:43:57,534 ♪ Unh unh-unh-unh-unh, unh, wait a minute now 590 00:43:57,586 --> 00:44:01,631 ♪ Uh-oh 591 00:44:01,674 --> 00:44:04,461 ♪ Unh, unh ♪ Can y'all hear me? 592 00:44:04,510 --> 00:44:06,917 ♪ Unh, unh ♪ ls y'all ready? 593 00:44:06,971 --> 00:44:12,557 ♪ Let me hear ya ♪ Uh-oh... ♪ 594 00:44:13,644 --> 00:44:17,095 A fancy frock don't make up for months of neglect. 595 00:44:17,147 --> 00:44:18,974 Me know. 596 00:44:19,024 --> 00:44:22,061 This is new to me so don't leave me on my own. 597 00:44:22,111 --> 00:44:23,937 Don't worry, baby. 598 00:44:30,035 --> 00:44:33,535 lt's the Prime Minister, let me get his autograph. 599 00:44:33,580 --> 00:44:35,906 - Boss, this is me Julie. - Lovely. 600 00:44:35,958 --> 00:44:40,454 Should we meet our delegates? President Wattana from Thailand. 601 00:44:40,504 --> 00:44:45,843 - lt is an honour to meet you. - Thai, aight? Present. 602 00:44:47,011 --> 00:44:49,928 Let's move along. Do forgive me. 603 00:44:49,972 --> 00:44:52,214 This is the Mongolian delegate. 604 00:44:53,559 --> 00:44:55,682 ls you a genuine mong? 605 00:44:55,728 --> 00:45:00,188 That is fantastic that you lot is also being represented here. 606 00:45:03,819 --> 00:45:06,571 l will...go and get you... 607 00:45:06,614 --> 00:45:09,187 some nice...crayons. 608 00:45:09,241 --> 00:45:13,286 Shall we carry on? Thank you, do forgive me. 609 00:45:13,329 --> 00:45:15,405 They really can do anything. 610 00:45:15,456 --> 00:45:17,413 This is Borat from Kazakhstan. 611 00:45:17,458 --> 00:45:19,581 Jagshemash. 612 00:45:19,627 --> 00:45:22,996 - Bless you. - lt is nice to meet you. 613 00:45:24,256 --> 00:45:26,000 Get off, you batty boy! 614 00:45:26,050 --> 00:45:29,253 Ali, all right. Please forgive me. 615 00:45:29,303 --> 00:45:31,710 You are a cocksucker. 616 00:45:39,021 --> 00:45:41,594 Bonjour. 617 00:45:41,649 --> 00:45:44,056 Canapé, sir? 618 00:46:20,145 --> 00:46:22,636 Me Julie. 619 00:46:24,775 --> 00:46:26,768 Julie. 620 00:46:30,197 --> 00:46:32,320 Hello? 621 00:46:37,746 --> 00:46:42,704 What you doing up here? Why not stay downstairs with that posh girl? 622 00:46:42,751 --> 00:46:47,579 - We was talking about politics. - l ain't interested, just shut up! 623 00:46:49,425 --> 00:46:52,758 Well, me won't speak no more. 624 00:46:57,641 --> 00:47:02,387 You really are a prat. Now, come here. 625 00:47:04,315 --> 00:47:06,936 We can't. This is the PM's bedroom. 626 00:47:08,527 --> 00:47:10,187 Well... 627 00:47:12,323 --> 00:47:15,822 Why don't you pretend to be the Prime Minister? 628 00:47:17,119 --> 00:47:19,112 Cheeky. 629 00:47:23,042 --> 00:47:28,000 Ladies and gentlemen, please. ln advance of tomorrow's summit, 630 00:47:28,047 --> 00:47:31,463 l shall be having private talks with both parties. 631 00:47:31,508 --> 00:47:36,135 First, President Mwepu, would you care to join me upstairs? 632 00:47:36,180 --> 00:47:39,762 - A pleasure. - Thank you. 633 00:48:13,425 --> 00:48:16,130 l must say, l enjoyed that. 634 00:48:16,178 --> 00:48:19,464 So did l. l'm so glad we thrashed it out. 635 00:48:19,515 --> 00:48:22,848 Ladies and gentlemen, l want everyone here to know 636 00:48:22,893 --> 00:48:27,021 that President Mwepu here is a very big man. 637 00:48:27,064 --> 00:48:32,307 And l would like you to know that the Prime Minister was very hard 638 00:48:32,361 --> 00:48:34,934 but very straight. 639 00:48:34,989 --> 00:48:38,073 The President was very much on top to start off with 640 00:48:38,117 --> 00:48:41,901 but l don't mind telling you, l was in a deep hole. 641 00:48:41,954 --> 00:48:45,204 Oh, very deep. 642 00:48:45,249 --> 00:48:48,499 We had some sticky patches but l'm delighted to say 643 00:48:48,544 --> 00:48:52,672 we came together in the end. 644 00:48:52,715 --> 00:48:56,878 Yes, l lapped up everything that you had to offer. 645 00:48:56,927 --> 00:49:00,711 Now President Oompeba, would you care to join me upstairs? 646 00:49:00,764 --> 00:49:03,599 No bloody way. 647 00:49:03,642 --> 00:49:05,101 Can l come? 648 00:49:14,945 --> 00:49:17,697 Come on, honey, let's go home. 649 00:49:17,740 --> 00:49:20,824 - l'll cook you up your favourite. - Angel Delight? 650 00:49:20,868 --> 00:49:23,869 Yeah, butterscotch. 651 00:49:23,912 --> 00:49:27,696 Mmmm. Butterscotch. 652 00:49:27,750 --> 00:49:30,157 This bit is for the girls, 653 00:49:30,210 --> 00:49:34,042 to show that me can be well sensitive. 654 00:49:34,089 --> 00:49:38,253 By the way, if any of you bitches is fit and into doggy, 655 00:49:38,302 --> 00:49:41,219 here is me mobile number. 656 00:49:41,263 --> 00:49:44,798 Callers must be over 16. 657 00:49:44,850 --> 00:49:47,008 But not by too much. 658 00:49:50,147 --> 00:49:55,023 Me can't. They need me at the peace conference tomorrow. 659 00:49:55,069 --> 00:49:59,647 You what? What about the people who really need you? 660 00:49:59,698 --> 00:50:02,699 What about Ricky? What about Dave? 661 00:50:02,743 --> 00:50:04,819 What about me, Ali? 662 00:50:07,456 --> 00:50:09,745 Please come back to Staines. 663 00:50:11,460 --> 00:50:17,794 The world is bigger than Staines. And me gotta save it. 664 00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:23,554 You'll have to do it on your own, then. 665 00:50:23,597 --> 00:50:26,053 Me Julie. Me Julie? 666 00:50:28,060 --> 00:50:30,183 Let me call you back. 667 00:50:31,438 --> 00:50:35,187 We've gotta get rid of him before the centre's saved. 668 00:50:35,234 --> 00:50:37,807 - What l thought... - You thought?! 669 00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:40,645 The US will do everything in its power 670 00:50:40,698 --> 00:50:44,612 to support Chad in its struggle against its neighbours. 671 00:50:44,660 --> 00:50:49,286 Russia will not allow this Western oppression to continue 672 00:50:49,331 --> 00:50:52,617 and in order to support Burkina Faso, 673 00:50:52,668 --> 00:50:58,124 is prepared to utilise all our military capabilities. 674 00:50:58,173 --> 00:51:02,919 - That's outrageous! - How can you make such a statement? 675 00:51:02,970 --> 00:51:06,220 Ali, Ali, Ali. 676 00:51:06,265 --> 00:51:10,345 - Armageddon's breaking out, help. - Sure, bro. 677 00:51:10,394 --> 00:51:13,063 The United States will not be intimidated. 678 00:51:13,105 --> 00:51:16,770 We will meet any show of force with our full military might! 679 00:51:34,835 --> 00:51:36,329 Oi! 680 00:51:36,378 --> 00:51:40,874 You know why they is shouting? They ain't been fed their teas. 681 00:51:40,924 --> 00:51:42,502 Come on, choppy chop. 682 00:51:53,937 --> 00:51:56,014 Moving to a motion, 683 00:51:56,065 --> 00:51:59,516 all those in favour of sending lran to the gas station 684 00:51:59,568 --> 00:52:03,696 to get some potato chips and chocolate, raise your hand. 685 00:52:03,739 --> 00:52:05,696 For real. 686 00:52:08,035 --> 00:52:09,659 Oh, bummer. 687 00:52:09,703 --> 00:52:12,906 ♪ Tease me, tease me, tease me, tease me, baby... ♪ 688 00:52:12,957 --> 00:52:18,295 l'm sorry we invaded you. lt was really uncool. 689 00:52:18,337 --> 00:52:21,670 Who cares? lt's all in the past. 690 00:52:21,715 --> 00:52:25,049 lf l was going to be invaded by anyone, 691 00:52:25,094 --> 00:52:27,170 l am happy it was you. 692 00:52:27,221 --> 00:52:32,511 You are really cool. You have nice clothes. 693 00:52:32,559 --> 00:52:37,720 - You saved my white ass, Ali. - No problem, bredrin. 694 00:52:37,773 --> 00:52:41,059 Big up the herbal tea, aight? 695 00:52:41,110 --> 00:52:42,853 Hey, you, Britain! 696 00:52:46,073 --> 00:52:48,398 Respect. 697 00:52:48,450 --> 00:52:50,776 How does he do it? 698 00:52:50,828 --> 00:52:53,200 ♪ ..catchin' a big fish 699 00:52:53,247 --> 00:52:56,248 ♪ Yes, you are on top of my romance list 700 00:52:56,292 --> 00:52:59,743 ♪ Second to none, you defeat the favourite 701 00:52:59,795 --> 00:53:03,460 ♪ Woman, your love is like burnin' fire in my soul 702 00:53:03,507 --> 00:53:06,793 ♪ Woman, tease me till me lose control 703 00:53:06,844 --> 00:53:11,173 ♪ Woman, your love is like burnin' fire in me soul 704 00:53:11,223 --> 00:53:14,343 ♪ Woman, tease me till me lose control 705 00:53:14,393 --> 00:53:18,343 ♪ Tease me, tease me, tease me, tease me, baby ♪ 706 00:53:19,648 --> 00:53:25,484 We're quite a team, Ali. Thanks to you we're 22 points ahead. 707 00:53:25,529 --> 00:53:30,238 - l'm gonna save your centre. - Wicked! Bo! Bo! Bo! 708 00:53:30,284 --> 00:53:35,871 - Check out all the Peperami! - For you - this is your moment. 709 00:53:43,047 --> 00:53:47,958 Will you comment on accusations that you drugged the world leaders? 710 00:53:49,762 --> 00:53:53,213 - You what? - Our evidence proves you're guilty. 711 00:53:53,265 --> 00:53:55,222 Er... 712 00:53:55,267 --> 00:53:57,841 ''Our evidence proves you're guilty.'' 713 00:53:57,895 --> 00:54:01,264 - This is just childish. - ''This is just childish!'' 714 00:54:01,315 --> 00:54:05,811 By employing this rhetorical tactic you incriminate yourself further. 715 00:54:05,861 --> 00:54:09,610 By...tactic...your father. 716 00:54:09,657 --> 00:54:12,907 This bag was sent to my office anonymously. 717 00:54:12,952 --> 00:54:16,036 Do you deny that you stole it from Customs and Excise? 718 00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:18,321 That could be anyone's. 719 00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:25,503 l is gotta go. l is turtling. l is actually touching cloth. 720 00:54:25,547 --> 00:54:27,421 A few more questions! 721 00:54:27,466 --> 00:54:32,211 There goes your leisure centre. Clear your desk before you go. 722 00:54:32,262 --> 00:54:34,754 Prime Minister. 723 00:55:12,511 --> 00:55:15,346 Big up yourself, Ali. 724 00:55:15,389 --> 00:55:20,810 - lt won't be the same without you. - We'll miss you, Mr G. Respect. 725 00:55:22,771 --> 00:55:25,476 - Booyakasha. - Westside. 726 00:55:35,242 --> 00:55:37,780 Flippin' heck. 727 00:55:37,828 --> 00:55:40,319 Nan, can l borrow your car? 728 00:55:40,831 --> 00:55:43,666 ♪ What would l be without my baby? 729 00:55:43,709 --> 00:55:45,748 ♪ The thought alone might break me 730 00:55:45,794 --> 00:55:48,250 ♪ And l don't wanna go crazy 731 00:55:48,297 --> 00:55:50,420 ♪ But every thug needs a lady 732 00:55:50,466 --> 00:55:53,253 ♪ Girl, it feel like you and l been mourning together 733 00:55:53,302 --> 00:55:55,757 ♪ lnseparable, we chose pain over pleasure 734 00:55:55,804 --> 00:55:58,046 ♪ For that you'll forever be a part of me 735 00:55:58,098 --> 00:56:01,432 ♪ Mind body and soul ain't no l in we, baby 736 00:56:01,477 --> 00:56:03,553 ♪ Where would l be without you? 737 00:56:03,604 --> 00:56:06,273 ♪ l only think about you 738 00:56:06,315 --> 00:56:09,232 ♪ l know you're tired of being lonely 739 00:56:09,276 --> 00:56:11,518 ♪ So baby girl, put it on me 740 00:56:11,570 --> 00:56:13,812 ♪ What would l be without you? 741 00:56:13,864 --> 00:56:16,437 ♪ l only think about you... ♪ 742 00:56:19,203 --> 00:56:27,329 ♪ Thanks for the times that you've given me 743 00:56:28,671 --> 00:56:35,966 ♪ The memories are all in my mind 744 00:56:40,808 --> 00:56:42,847 ♪ You're once 745 00:56:43,936 --> 00:56:46,308 ♪ Twice 746 00:56:46,355 --> 00:56:50,933 ♪ Three times a lady 747 00:56:52,820 --> 00:56:55,227 ♪ And l lo... ♪ 748 00:56:59,326 --> 00:57:02,161 Having a bad day? Maybe l can help. 749 00:57:03,872 --> 00:57:07,455 - ls it nippy outside? - Very. 750 00:57:09,336 --> 00:57:13,583 - What is you doing here? - Let me show you. 751 00:57:13,632 --> 00:57:15,625 'So today's main news again. 752 00:57:15,676 --> 00:57:21,015 'The Prime Minister has resigned after the discovery of security tape 753 00:57:21,056 --> 00:57:25,303 'showing him having perverse sexual intercourse with a prostitute.' 754 00:57:28,522 --> 00:57:30,598 That's no prostitute, that's me ho! 755 00:57:30,649 --> 00:57:36,236 'As of now the Deputy Prime Minister will be acting Prime Minister.' 756 00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:41,108 That ain't fair, that weren't the PM. Where's the rest of the tape? 757 00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:44,611 My boss has locked it in a safe at Chequers, 758 00:57:44,663 --> 00:57:48,364 - where it's staying. - You won't get away with this. 759 00:57:48,417 --> 00:57:53,458 lf you keep your mouth shut, David's willing to be very generous. 760 00:57:54,548 --> 00:57:59,044 l'm willing to be very generous. 761 00:58:00,846 --> 00:58:03,384 All that you have to do 762 00:58:03,432 --> 00:58:07,726 is keep your mouth...shut. 763 00:58:14,485 --> 00:58:17,569 l'm tuning up my engine, Ali. 764 00:58:17,613 --> 00:58:19,652 Fill me with petrol. 765 00:58:19,698 --> 00:58:23,399 l is gonna pump you with me five-star unleaded, aight! 766 00:58:23,452 --> 00:58:26,738 - Let me see your nozzle. - What? 767 00:58:26,789 --> 00:58:29,280 You wanna see me knob? All right. 768 00:58:34,088 --> 00:58:36,757 ♪ Let me lick you up and down 769 00:58:36,799 --> 00:58:39,124 ♪ Till you say stop 770 00:58:40,636 --> 00:58:43,921 ♪ Let me play with your body, baby 771 00:58:43,973 --> 00:58:46,049 ♪ Make you real hot 772 00:58:47,518 --> 00:58:54,101 ♪ Let me do all the things you want me to do 773 00:58:55,776 --> 00:59:01,232 ♪ Cos tonight, baby, l wanna get freaky with you 774 00:59:02,783 --> 00:59:05,356 ♪ Baby, don't you understand? 775 00:59:05,411 --> 00:59:09,159 ♪ l wanna be your nasty man... ♪ 776 00:59:09,206 --> 00:59:13,074 Give me your fuel injection. 777 00:59:14,461 --> 00:59:16,620 'ln tomorrow's phone-in, we ask, 778 00:59:16,672 --> 00:59:21,001 'have you ever slept with a pig? l certainly have.' 779 00:59:21,051 --> 00:59:25,179 'And we'll find out what turns girls like this into slags.' 780 00:59:25,222 --> 00:59:27,796 No one calls me Julie a slag. 781 00:59:28,934 --> 00:59:31,686 Come to mama. 782 00:59:42,197 --> 00:59:44,653 Take them off. 783 01:00:02,968 --> 01:00:06,669 ♪ You drive me crazy Somebody tell me where he's gone 784 01:00:06,722 --> 01:00:10,470 ♪ Where are you, baby? We used to have so much fun 785 01:00:10,517 --> 01:00:13,637 ♪ You drive me crazy... ♪ 786 01:00:13,687 --> 01:00:18,812 'Keep it real! Keep it real! Keep it real!' 787 01:00:19,985 --> 01:00:22,310 This ain't right. Here... 788 01:00:22,363 --> 01:00:25,529 Set it to vibrate and finish yourself off. 789 01:00:42,216 --> 01:00:45,086 Open up! Yo, blood, l need your help. 790 01:00:45,135 --> 01:00:47,543 Everyone's calling me Julie a slag. 791 01:00:47,596 --> 01:00:49,755 They heard about our three-header? 792 01:00:49,807 --> 01:00:53,010 What three-header? Anyways, l can prove she ain't. 793 01:00:53,060 --> 01:00:59,063 Bredrin, we gotta restart Drive-By FM. What ya say? 794 01:01:02,695 --> 01:01:06,313 - Drive-By FM is back! - Wicked! 795 01:01:06,365 --> 01:01:08,441 - Let's go. - ls you any good at knots? 796 01:01:08,492 --> 01:01:12,157 Yo, hear me now, hear me now, rewind. 797 01:01:12,204 --> 01:01:15,039 This is Drive-By FM, the sound of the ghetto, 798 01:01:15,082 --> 01:01:17,573 from deep in the heart of Berkshire. 799 01:01:22,965 --> 01:01:27,093 Phut-phut-phut-phut, phut-phut-phut-phut! 800 01:01:27,136 --> 01:01:29,923 - What was that? - Helicopter. 801 01:01:29,972 --> 01:01:33,305 Oh, you was doing the wings. That's good. 802 01:01:33,350 --> 01:01:37,846 Hear me now, gangstas. There is some serious shit going down. 803 01:01:37,896 --> 01:01:40,269 The Prime Minister, check it, 804 01:01:40,316 --> 01:01:45,061 has been chucked out by a geezer who is a massive dong. 805 01:01:45,112 --> 01:01:48,279 He is even more eviller than Skeletor. 806 01:01:49,450 --> 01:01:53,697 To get the PM back in, me needs to get hold of this tape 807 01:01:53,746 --> 01:01:56,367 of me knobbing me bitch. 808 01:01:56,415 --> 01:02:00,911 lf you help me rescue this video, we can save the country. 809 01:02:02,004 --> 01:02:06,713 - Plus you will see Julie's babylons. - Wicked! 810 01:02:06,759 --> 01:02:11,919 That is why l is calling all of you to end the Berkshire turf wars. 811 01:02:13,015 --> 01:02:16,265 There has been enough brothers slain. 812 01:02:16,310 --> 01:02:20,888 So put down your AKs, lay down your Uzis, 813 01:02:20,939 --> 01:02:22,813 and unite 814 01:02:22,858 --> 01:02:25,729 into one massive... 815 01:02:25,778 --> 01:02:28,019 massive. 816 01:02:28,072 --> 01:02:30,859 - 'So big up the Eton Wick Crew.' - 'Hold tight.' 817 01:02:30,908 --> 01:02:33,280 'Hold tight the lver Heath Posse.' 818 01:02:33,327 --> 01:02:37,194 Shout going out to the Englefield Green Massiv. 819 01:02:37,247 --> 01:02:40,699 And me never thought me would ever say this... 820 01:02:41,961 --> 01:02:49,208 but big up the East Staines Massiv. 821 01:02:49,259 --> 01:02:51,418 - Ali, what you doing, man? - Shh. 822 01:02:54,556 --> 01:02:57,261 Hear this, Hassan B. 823 01:02:57,309 --> 01:03:02,434 lf you join us, then l is prepared to hand over 824 01:03:04,191 --> 01:03:07,358 the Boris the Spider climbing frame in Leagrove Park. 825 01:03:10,531 --> 01:03:14,611 Let's do what Tupac and Biggie never managed. Aight? 826 01:03:20,374 --> 01:03:23,375 lf you is joining this military operation, 827 01:03:23,419 --> 01:03:25,625 meet up in camouflage 828 01:03:25,671 --> 01:03:29,254 at John Nike Leisure Centre, nine tomorrow morning. 829 01:03:29,300 --> 01:03:31,921 That's a bit early. Can we make it 12? 830 01:03:40,185 --> 01:03:42,676 Sorry l is late. 831 01:03:42,730 --> 01:03:46,312 But there was something on the telly about monkeys. 832 01:03:46,358 --> 01:03:49,858 They is well funny, what? With their arms and... 833 01:03:52,906 --> 01:03:58,114 Respect for wearing camouflage. lt will help you go undetected. 834 01:03:59,204 --> 01:04:03,036 Now, let's go to Chequers and rescue that tape. 835 01:04:03,083 --> 01:04:06,702 Let's do this for Britain. Let's do this for me Julie. 836 01:04:06,754 --> 01:04:10,253 And let's do this for hip-hop! Selecta! 837 01:04:10,299 --> 01:04:11,461 Selecta! 838 01:04:11,508 --> 01:04:16,005 ♪ Fight the power! 839 01:04:16,055 --> 01:04:18,047 ♪ Fight the power! 840 01:04:18,098 --> 01:04:21,681 ♪ Fight the power! ♪ Fight the power! 841 01:04:23,020 --> 01:04:24,395 ♪ Fight the power ♪ 842 01:04:24,897 --> 01:04:27,898 l has drawn up a detailed plan of Chequers. 843 01:04:27,941 --> 01:04:31,227 The tape is in the PM's office, in a safe. 844 01:04:31,278 --> 01:04:35,857 First up, Ricky, Dave and me will go in. 845 01:04:35,908 --> 01:04:39,407 Jezzy, you stay here. We's gonna be like the A-Team. 846 01:04:39,453 --> 01:04:43,071 - And l is BA Baracus. - l wanna be BA Baracus. 847 01:04:43,123 --> 01:04:44,582 Urgh. 848 01:04:44,625 --> 01:04:47,792 But l is very much like him. ''l ain't gettin' in no plane.'' 849 01:04:47,836 --> 01:04:49,995 Uh-uh - ''l ain't gettin' in no plane!'' 850 01:04:50,047 --> 01:04:53,961 - ''l ain't gettin' in no plane!'' - ''Shut up, fool.'' 851 01:04:54,009 --> 01:04:56,761 Look, gold. ''l ain't gettin' in no plane!'' 852 01:04:56,804 --> 01:05:00,469 - ''Step back, kiss myself.'' - That's James Brown. 853 01:05:02,351 --> 01:05:05,268 You'll be Murdock. Dave, you'll be Face. 854 01:05:05,312 --> 01:05:08,646 - What do we do? - Stay here and we all hide 855 01:05:08,691 --> 01:05:11,312 and blend into the natural habitat. 856 01:05:11,360 --> 01:05:15,310 'Then, when it gets dark, me will make the secret signal.' 857 01:05:21,662 --> 01:05:24,698 Fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, rewind. 858 01:05:25,791 --> 01:05:27,534 Let's go! 859 01:05:27,584 --> 01:05:32,377 'Then tune all your radios to the baddest street garage station 860 01:05:32,423 --> 01:05:35,127 'and crank up the volume to the max. 861 01:05:35,175 --> 01:05:37,548 'This will bring out the guards 862 01:05:37,594 --> 01:05:42,506 'and at that point we will use our cunning to overpower them.' 863 01:05:43,559 --> 01:05:46,346 Bundle! 864 01:06:02,953 --> 01:06:04,827 - Sir? - What's going on? 865 01:06:04,872 --> 01:06:08,038 'l'm sure it's nothing but l've sent some men out.' 866 01:06:08,083 --> 01:06:11,784 l want maximum security. Patrol the house. 867 01:06:16,133 --> 01:06:20,047 'The Great Hall is exactly like the one in Lara Croft's house 868 01:06:20,095 --> 01:06:22,551 'in Tomb Raider 2 on PlayStation. 869 01:06:22,598 --> 01:06:27,390 'So Dave, if you run at the pillar, that goes to the underwater kingdom 870 01:06:27,436 --> 01:06:30,770 'and on to the next level.' 871 01:06:30,814 --> 01:06:33,103 Urgh. 872 01:06:33,150 --> 01:06:37,978 'lf that don't work, we must somehow cross the touch-sensitive floor. 873 01:06:38,030 --> 01:06:41,114 'lf we lift our feet at all, we're dead.' 874 01:06:45,287 --> 01:06:49,499 ♪ Electric boogie, break dance, electric boogie, break dance... ♪ 875 01:06:54,922 --> 01:06:58,457 Nothing. We'll keep on looking. 876 01:06:58,509 --> 01:07:01,794 'Next up, we is gotta go through the laser room. 877 01:07:01,845 --> 01:07:05,795 'Dave, you'll use your special skills to help us through.' 878 01:07:22,992 --> 01:07:26,859 Remember, if we break any beams it will set the alarms off, 879 01:07:26,912 --> 01:07:29,866 so extra careful. Now, let's do it. 880 01:07:32,418 --> 01:07:34,541 ♪ This is the funk, now hit me 881 01:07:35,879 --> 01:07:37,753 ♪ Just get on down and hit me 882 01:07:38,799 --> 01:07:42,085 ♪ Their bodies getting so funky, now hit me 883 01:07:56,150 --> 01:07:59,768 ♪ You gotta rock it don't stop it, you gotta rock it don't stop it 884 01:07:59,820 --> 01:08:03,521 ♪ You gotta rock it don't stop it, you gotta rock it don't stop ♪ 885 01:08:03,574 --> 01:08:07,951 'This must be the PM's office. The tape is in there.' 886 01:08:11,332 --> 01:08:15,709 lntruders in my office. This is a terrorist attack, shoot on sight. 887 01:08:15,753 --> 01:08:18,160 Repeat, shoot on sight. 888 01:08:20,007 --> 01:08:21,798 - Ah, safe. - Yeah, safe, man. 889 01:08:21,842 --> 01:08:25,341 - No, the safe. - Yeah, l is safe. Open that. 890 01:08:25,387 --> 01:08:28,258 - Ali, this safe. - Yeah, l is feeling fine. 891 01:08:28,307 --> 01:08:31,094 - The safe, the safe. - Yeah, man, l is safe! 892 01:08:31,143 --> 01:08:33,764 Behind you! 893 01:08:38,984 --> 01:08:42,602 Hold on. l thought you couldn't speak. 894 01:08:42,655 --> 01:08:46,984 l've just always been terribly embarrassed about my voice. 895 01:08:47,034 --> 01:08:50,984 All right, don't go on about it. Stop giving it all that. 896 01:08:51,038 --> 01:08:55,451 Now, if me can just interrupt your life story for one second... 897 01:08:56,835 --> 01:09:00,335 let's tie these geezers up and get that safe open. 898 01:09:03,634 --> 01:09:05,591 No. 899 01:09:05,636 --> 01:09:09,219 l got it. Link up the batteries of all the cars outside, 900 01:09:09,264 --> 01:09:12,052 transfer the current through a human chain 901 01:09:12,101 --> 01:09:14,508 and blow this mother open! 902 01:09:14,561 --> 01:09:18,773 - Won't we get electricalocuted? - We won't get fried 903 01:09:18,816 --> 01:09:23,228 cos we've got rubber-soled trainers. Trust me, l got a D in physics. 904 01:09:23,279 --> 01:09:25,604 Wicked. l'll text them. 905 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:42,168 No, b-eight-two-rez - be-attories, batteries. 906 01:09:42,214 --> 01:09:47,209 2-geh-4 - together... 907 01:09:47,261 --> 01:09:49,930 Me was trying to save time. 908 01:09:51,098 --> 01:09:52,296 Bambaclat. 909 01:10:08,032 --> 01:10:12,325 - Switch on the engine, pass it on. - Switch on the engine, pass it on. 910 01:10:12,369 --> 01:10:15,619 Your voice! Switch on the engine, pass it on. 911 01:10:15,664 --> 01:10:20,622 - Switch on the engine, pass it on. - Switch on the engine, pass it on... 912 01:10:24,089 --> 01:10:27,458 - Bitch on a pension, suck my dong. - What? 913 01:10:27,509 --> 01:10:29,751 - Should l turn the engine on? - Yeah. 914 01:10:35,517 --> 01:10:37,427 ♪ This is the funk, now hit me 915 01:10:39,146 --> 01:10:41,139 ♪ Just get on down and hit me... ♪ 916 01:10:51,158 --> 01:10:54,527 - What is you doing? - l'm being pulled! 917 01:10:57,247 --> 01:10:59,157 No! 918 01:11:00,918 --> 01:11:03,670 ♪ He's our saviour ♪ 919 01:11:08,133 --> 01:11:11,502 Ha-ha! Bo! Bo! 920 01:11:11,553 --> 01:11:13,427 We open up the safe! 921 01:11:16,183 --> 01:11:19,054 - Peace, man. - Peace, bredrin. 922 01:11:26,527 --> 01:11:28,484 Ali! Ali! 923 01:11:28,529 --> 01:11:32,361 - The tape ain't here. - What you talkin' 'bout, Willis? 924 01:11:32,408 --> 01:11:34,981 Look for yourself. 925 01:11:35,035 --> 01:11:38,036 All it is is some photographs... 926 01:11:40,249 --> 01:11:41,708 Eugh. 927 01:11:41,750 --> 01:11:44,455 And there's a map of Staines. 928 01:11:48,507 --> 01:11:53,169 Jah Ras Tafari, Haile Selassie. They is extending Heathrow Airport. 929 01:11:53,220 --> 01:11:57,467 That means... they is gonna destroy Staines. 930 01:11:57,516 --> 01:12:01,015 And they is starting in... three hours. 931 01:12:01,061 --> 01:12:03,731 Two hours, 57 minutes, to be precise. 932 01:12:07,943 --> 01:12:10,185 Why build it over Staines? 933 01:12:10,237 --> 01:12:14,566 Because l have bought 600 acres of land there. Give me those. 934 01:12:19,204 --> 01:12:23,831 Don't try escaping because this room doubles as a nuclear bunker. 935 01:12:23,876 --> 01:12:27,920 lt is completely impenetrable to the outside world. 936 01:12:27,963 --> 01:12:31,130 And l've forgotten to put on the air supply. 937 01:12:31,175 --> 01:12:33,844 Why don't you nip out now and stick it on? 938 01:12:35,387 --> 01:12:38,424 You really are unbelievably stupid. 939 01:12:47,900 --> 01:12:49,976 Oi! Knob-end! 940 01:12:51,779 --> 01:12:54,151 - What? - Give me them plans. 941 01:13:02,331 --> 01:13:06,198 - Or what? - Or nipple cripple, that's what. 942 01:13:12,967 --> 01:13:15,636 Chinese burn! 943 01:13:25,813 --> 01:13:29,264 You hurt my nose, you fucking nutcase. 944 01:13:36,699 --> 01:13:42,155 Look behind you because there's a thousand police officers. 945 01:13:47,584 --> 01:13:50,254 Look behind you, there's Jennifer Lopez. 946 01:13:50,296 --> 01:13:54,874 What? You want to bone him right this second cos you is so horny? 947 01:13:59,096 --> 01:14:02,299 Look, there's 20 squid on the floor. 948 01:14:03,309 --> 01:14:06,345 There's a squirrel with the head of a chicken 949 01:14:06,395 --> 01:14:10,309 and with, like, wings and everything that's just... 950 01:14:11,984 --> 01:14:14,356 - ls you gonna hit me again? - Mmm. 951 01:14:20,159 --> 01:14:23,409 Now l'm going to shoot you. 952 01:14:37,926 --> 01:14:41,212 Booyakasha! 953 01:14:53,317 --> 01:14:56,733 This is from the people of Staines. 954 01:15:03,410 --> 01:15:06,577 Ooh. l think l followed through. 955 01:15:07,665 --> 01:15:11,614 'Me Julie, you there? Me know what you must think of me. 956 01:15:11,669 --> 01:15:16,544 'l been a piece of knob cheese but me got to save Staines with your help 957 01:15:16,590 --> 01:15:18,749 'and l has shat meself.' 958 01:15:20,719 --> 01:15:23,424 Shit. Ricky and Dave! 959 01:15:35,109 --> 01:15:36,567 Ricky? 960 01:15:40,197 --> 01:15:44,064 We thought if we was gonna die we might as well give it a go. 961 01:15:44,118 --> 01:15:47,035 - Well, what's it like? - lt's not bad. 962 01:15:47,079 --> 01:15:50,246 - Dave? - Quite nice, actually. 963 01:15:50,291 --> 01:15:53,624 We'll talk about this later. We gotta save Staines. 964 01:15:53,669 --> 01:15:55,958 Two minutes, see you in the car? 965 01:15:56,005 --> 01:15:59,919 Be quick. The Feds is coming and you don't want to finish up inside. 966 01:16:02,052 --> 01:16:06,382 Save our centre! Save our centre! 967 01:16:06,432 --> 01:16:08,056 Hold on tight. 968 01:16:08,100 --> 01:16:11,220 Leave 'em alone, you pigs, they're senile! 969 01:16:15,858 --> 01:16:18,728 Send in, send in! 970 01:16:31,540 --> 01:16:34,576 l wouldn't do that if l was you. 971 01:16:34,627 --> 01:16:39,087 Ali! l love you! 972 01:16:39,131 --> 01:16:42,298 Juliiieeee! 973 01:16:44,511 --> 01:16:47,002 - Hello. - Start the demolition. 974 01:16:47,056 --> 01:16:49,973 Wait! Don't listen to him! He's a criminal. 975 01:16:50,017 --> 01:16:53,600 And not even the good kind that sell drugs or do drive-bys. 976 01:16:53,646 --> 01:16:57,430 l is got proof here that he is trying to destroy Staines. 977 01:16:57,483 --> 01:16:59,559 So what? lt's a shithole. 978 01:17:00,653 --> 01:17:04,650 - Arrest them. - Oh, shit. We is going to jail. 979 01:17:04,698 --> 01:17:08,862 Every day for the next 20 years we'll get bummed in the showers. 980 01:17:10,996 --> 01:17:14,946 - Hold it. Release him. - Under what authority? 981 01:17:15,000 --> 01:17:19,709 l'm the acting Prime Minister. You are the disgraced one. 982 01:17:19,755 --> 01:17:24,216 Disgraced by you. And this tape proves it. 983 01:17:24,259 --> 01:17:27,675 - Kate. - No, David. 984 01:17:27,721 --> 01:17:32,514 When l first entered politics, it was to create a better world, 985 01:17:32,559 --> 01:17:36,937 a world of honesty, integrity and truth. 986 01:17:36,981 --> 01:17:40,396 But somewhere along the way that vision was lost. 987 01:17:40,442 --> 01:17:44,820 My dream was tarnished and instead l discovered greed, 988 01:17:44,863 --> 01:17:47,485 - avarice and corruption... - Boring! 989 01:17:48,826 --> 01:17:51,151 Arrest him. 990 01:17:51,203 --> 01:17:55,580 Enjoy your life with this fool. You two deserve each other. 991 01:17:55,624 --> 01:17:57,664 Piss off. 992 01:17:57,710 --> 01:17:59,168 Oh, nice! 993 01:17:59,211 --> 01:18:03,256 We're not going to build Terminal 5 over Staines. 994 01:18:03,299 --> 01:18:05,968 - We'll demolish Slough instead. - Wicked. 995 01:18:06,010 --> 01:18:09,176 As of now l need a new Deputy Prime Minister. 996 01:18:09,221 --> 01:18:12,222 How do you feel about being my right-hand man? 997 01:18:12,266 --> 01:18:15,599 Right-hand man! Batty boy, batty boy! 998 01:18:16,687 --> 01:18:19,012 What do you say, Ali? 999 01:18:20,232 --> 01:18:22,688 l has shown you the way. 1000 01:18:22,735 --> 01:18:26,400 You'll have to carry on the journey by yourself now. 1001 01:18:26,447 --> 01:18:30,147 As for me, l is gonna stick with me posse 1002 01:18:30,200 --> 01:18:32,323 and me bi... 1003 01:18:32,369 --> 01:18:34,445 me lady. 1004 01:18:46,091 --> 01:18:50,255 'Ahem. Actually, there is one thing you could do for me.' 1005 01:18:55,392 --> 01:18:57,930 Mr Ambassador. 1006 01:18:57,978 --> 01:19:01,264 ♪ l'm Mr Reggae Ambassador... ♪ 1007 01:19:01,315 --> 01:19:04,565 - Your crop is ready for inspection. - Bo. 1008 01:19:04,610 --> 01:19:07,065 ♪ l'm Mr Reggae Ambassador 1009 01:19:09,114 --> 01:19:11,985 ♪ Baby, reggae music in-a any condition 1010 01:19:12,034 --> 01:19:14,607 ♪ Drop it in a style, drop it in a fashion... ♪ 1011 01:19:15,746 --> 01:19:18,284 Good morning, Ambassador. 1012 01:19:18,332 --> 01:19:20,870 Ambassador, will you try the harvest? 1013 01:19:20,918 --> 01:19:22,745 ♪ Whoa-whoa-whoa, yeah 1014 01:19:22,795 --> 01:19:25,250 ♪ l'm Mr Reggae Ambassador 1015 01:19:26,632 --> 01:19:28,957 ♪ Whoa-whoa-whoa, yeah 1016 01:19:29,009 --> 01:19:31,298 ♪ l'm Mr Reggae Ambassador 1017 01:19:32,846 --> 01:19:35,088 ♪ Whoa-whoa-whoa, yeah 1018 01:19:35,140 --> 01:19:37,216 ♪ l'm Mr Reggae Ambassador ♪ 1019 01:19:38,227 --> 01:19:41,477 This is good shit. 1020 01:19:41,522 --> 01:19:44,309 The man from Staines, he say yeah! 1021 01:19:48,779 --> 01:19:51,270 ♪ This is how we do it... ♪ 1022 01:19:56,829 --> 01:19:58,821 lce, please. 1023 01:20:01,083 --> 01:20:04,119 Ali, this is a great Jacuzzi. 1024 01:20:04,169 --> 01:20:06,791 That ain't a Jacuzzi. 1025 01:20:08,882 --> 01:20:10,922 Sorry. 1026 01:20:10,968 --> 01:20:14,052 ♪ The party's here on the westside 1027 01:20:14,096 --> 01:20:16,385 ♪ So l reach for my 40 and l turn it up 1028 01:20:16,432 --> 01:20:19,136 ♪ Designated driver, take the keys to my truck 1029 01:20:19,184 --> 01:20:21,260 ♪ Hit the shore cos l'm faded 1030 01:20:21,312 --> 01:20:23,553 ♪ Honeys in the street say, ''Monty, yo, we made it!''... ♪ 1031 01:20:28,861 --> 01:20:30,652 ♪ The summertime skirts and the guys in Kani 1032 01:20:30,696 --> 01:20:33,104 ♪ All the gang-bangers forgot about the drive-by 1033 01:20:33,157 --> 01:20:36,857 ♪ You gotta get your groove on before you go get paid... ♪ 1034 01:20:36,910 --> 01:20:38,987 Bring her in. 1035 01:20:39,830 --> 01:20:42,914 ♪ Let me hear the party say... ♪ 1036 01:20:42,958 --> 01:20:45,414 Dance for me, bitch. 1037 01:20:45,461 --> 01:20:48,794 ♪ South Central does it like nobody does 1038 01:20:48,839 --> 01:20:50,796 ♪ This is how we do it 1039 01:20:50,841 --> 01:20:53,546 ♪ To all my neighbours, you got much flava 1040 01:20:53,594 --> 01:20:55,421 ♪ This is how we do it 1041 01:20:55,471 --> 01:20:58,044 ♪ Let's flip the track, bring the old school back 1042 01:20:58,098 --> 01:21:00,257 ♪ This is how we do it... ♪ 1043 01:21:01,268 --> 01:21:04,305 Me Julie, me got something to ask you. 1044 01:21:08,067 --> 01:21:13,405 Will you make me the happiest man in the world? 1045 01:21:16,700 --> 01:21:18,776 Yeah, l will. 1046 01:21:18,827 --> 01:21:20,903 Let me shag her, then. 1047 01:21:20,955 --> 01:21:23,031 ♪ This is how we do it in a UK vibe 1048 01:21:23,082 --> 01:21:25,121 ♪ This is how we do it 1049 01:21:25,167 --> 01:21:28,002 ♪ Su-Elise, Alesha and Sabrina tonight 1050 01:21:28,045 --> 01:21:30,168 ♪ This is how we do it 1051 01:21:30,214 --> 01:21:34,342 ♪ This is how we do it, it's Friday night 1052 01:21:34,385 --> 01:21:36,958 ♪ And l feel all right 1053 01:21:37,012 --> 01:21:39,799 ♪ The party's here on the westside... ♪ 1054 01:21:39,848 --> 01:21:44,012 So, what did you think of the film? lt weren't bad, was it? 1055 01:21:44,061 --> 01:21:46,848 lt was easily better than Harry Potter, 1056 01:21:46,897 --> 01:21:49,435 which me thought was very childish. 1057 01:21:49,483 --> 01:21:53,350 lf you is watching this, Potter, l is better than you. 1058 01:21:53,404 --> 01:21:56,108 You probably ain't even slept with a girl. 1059 01:21:56,156 --> 01:21:58,398 l has slept with three. 1060 01:21:58,450 --> 01:22:01,368 And l got one of them to play with herself. 1061 01:22:01,412 --> 01:22:06,619 Whatever you thought of this film, please tell your mates it was wicked 1062 01:22:06,667 --> 01:22:11,210 cos if this flops, me won't be able to get me nan a new hip. 1063 01:22:11,255 --> 01:22:15,003 So the choice is yours. No pressure. 1064 01:22:15,050 --> 01:22:17,292 Nan, come tell them about it. 1065 01:22:17,344 --> 01:22:20,594 What? You is fallen over again? 1066 01:22:20,639 --> 01:22:23,391 You done the other one in as well? 1067 01:22:23,434 --> 01:22:27,645 Don't cry there, all mashed up, a lump of bones. 1068 01:22:27,688 --> 01:22:32,065 Me will get you the cash to make it better, somehow. 1069 01:22:35,946 --> 01:22:38,235 Don't be selfish. 1070 01:22:38,282 --> 01:22:40,524 Buy the merchandise and all. 1071 01:22:42,786 --> 01:22:45,491 ♪ Ali G. Shut it! 1072 01:22:46,540 --> 01:22:48,996 ♪ Let's start right now, ya hear me? 1073 01:22:50,669 --> 01:22:52,994 ♪ A to the L to the l to the G-sy 1074 01:22:53,047 --> 01:22:55,751 ♪ J to the U to the L-l easy 1075 01:22:55,799 --> 01:22:59,003 ♪ S to the H to the A double-G-sy Y 1076 01:22:59,053 --> 01:23:01,045 ♪ Oh, boys getting busy 1077 01:23:01,096 --> 01:23:03,504 ♪ l need a cure for this thing l'm feelin' 1078 01:23:03,557 --> 01:23:06,048 ♪ Shaggy need some sexual healin' 1079 01:23:06,101 --> 01:23:08,509 ♪ l wanna reach and touch the ceilin' 1080 01:23:08,562 --> 01:23:11,136 ♪ When l'm lovin' my Julie ♪ Aight! 1081 01:23:11,190 --> 01:23:13,597 ♪ Me, l've been kickin' at the late night dealin' 1082 01:23:13,651 --> 01:23:16,272 ♪ Worse now, it's just a piece l'm stealin' 1083 01:23:16,320 --> 01:23:19,025 ♪ l see your sex and Mr Lover believin' 1084 01:23:19,073 --> 01:23:21,361 ♪ When l'm lockin' my Julie ♪ Aight 1085 01:23:21,408 --> 01:23:25,157 ♪ Julie, you know me love-a you truly 1086 01:23:25,204 --> 01:23:28,489 ♪ From my head down to me goolies 1087 01:23:28,540 --> 01:23:31,292 ♪ Woman, you turn me on with your big babylons 1088 01:23:31,335 --> 01:23:35,546 ♪ Me Julie, you got the sweetest coolies 1089 01:23:35,589 --> 01:23:37,131 ♪ When me touch it with me goolies 1090 01:23:37,174 --> 01:23:39,332 ♪ Hey, Shaggy, me can rap too. 1091 01:23:39,385 --> 01:23:41,176 ♪ Yo, yo, yo 1092 01:23:41,220 --> 01:23:44,055 ♪ You is better than J-Lo, next to you she's just a minger 1093 01:23:44,098 --> 01:23:46,719 ♪ Fit as Destiny's Child, well, apart from the lead singer 1094 01:23:46,767 --> 01:23:49,684 ♪ You is fitter than the Spice Girls including the Ginger 1095 01:23:49,728 --> 01:23:52,184 ♪ Give it a shave, cos me wanna be in ya 1096 01:23:52,231 --> 01:23:54,686 ♪ They always claimed that our love was wrong, uh 1097 01:23:54,733 --> 01:23:57,224 ♪ The people just stared and said it was too long, but 1098 01:23:57,278 --> 01:23:59,685 ♪ lt ain't crap to have a 12-inch 1099 01:23:59,738 --> 01:24:02,194 ♪ Dong, d-dong, dong, dong 1100 01:24:02,241 --> 01:24:06,073 ♪ Julie, you know me love-a you truly 1101 01:24:06,120 --> 01:24:08,871 ♪ From my head down to me goolies 1102 01:24:08,914 --> 01:24:12,200 ♪ Woman, you turn me on with your big babylons 1103 01:24:12,251 --> 01:24:16,462 ♪ Me Julie, you got the sweetest coolies 1104 01:24:16,505 --> 01:24:18,996 ♪ When me touch it with me goolies 1105 01:24:19,049 --> 01:24:22,335 ♪ Cos you turn me on with your big babylons ♪ 1106 01:24:24,054 --> 01:24:26,343 ♪ This is how we do it in a UK vibe 1107 01:24:26,390 --> 01:24:28,264 ♪ This is how we do it 1108 01:24:28,309 --> 01:24:30,930 ♪ lt's the Mis-teeq 1109 01:24:30,978 --> 01:24:33,267 ♪ This is how we do it 1110 01:24:33,314 --> 01:24:37,263 ♪ This is how we do it, it's Friday night 1111 01:24:37,318 --> 01:24:39,987 ♪ And l feel all right 1112 01:24:40,029 --> 01:24:42,187 ♪ The party's here on the westside 1113 01:24:42,239 --> 01:24:44,813 ♪ So l reach for my 40 and l turn it up 1114 01:24:44,867 --> 01:24:47,618 ♪ Designated driver, turn the key to my truck 1115 01:24:47,661 --> 01:24:49,737 ♪ Hit the shore cos l'm faded 1116 01:24:49,788 --> 01:24:52,114 ♪ Guys in the street say ''Girls, yo, you made it.'' 1117 01:24:52,166 --> 01:24:56,246 ♪ lt feels so good in my hood tonight 1118 01:24:56,295 --> 01:24:58,833 ♪ The summertime skirts and the guys in Kani 1119 01:24:58,881 --> 01:25:01,751 ♪ All the gang-bangers forgot about the drive-by 1120 01:25:01,800 --> 01:25:05,549 ♪ You gotta get your groove on before you go and get paid 1121 01:25:05,596 --> 01:25:08,051 ♪ So tip up your cup and throw your hands up 1122 01:25:08,098 --> 01:25:10,424 ♪ And let me hear the party say 1123 01:25:10,476 --> 01:25:13,014 ♪ l'm kinda buzzed and it's all because 1124 01:25:13,062 --> 01:25:14,770 ♪ This is how we do it 1125 01:25:14,813 --> 01:25:17,731 ♪ South Central does it like nobody does 1126 01:25:17,775 --> 01:25:19,601 ♪ This is how we do it 1127 01:25:19,652 --> 01:25:22,439 ♪ To all my neighbours, you got much flava 1128 01:25:22,488 --> 01:25:24,196 ♪ This is how we do it 1129 01:25:24,239 --> 01:25:26,909 ♪ So flip the track, bring the old school back 1130 01:25:26,951 --> 01:25:29,488 ♪ This is how we do it 1131 01:25:29,536 --> 01:25:31,659 ♪ Oh, l'm dancin' because 1132 01:25:31,705 --> 01:25:33,579 ♪ This is how we do it 1133 01:25:33,624 --> 01:25:36,329 ♪ South Central does it like nobody does 1134 01:25:36,377 --> 01:25:38,286 ♪ This is how we do it 1135 01:25:38,337 --> 01:25:40,875 ♪ L-O-N-D-O-N 1136 01:25:40,923 --> 01:25:42,962 ♪ This is how we do it 1137 01:25:43,008 --> 01:25:45,678 ♪ l'll never come back on an old school track 1138 01:25:45,719 --> 01:25:47,795 ♪ This is how we do it ♪ Check it out 1139 01:25:47,846 --> 01:25:49,969 ♪ Once upon a time in '94 1140 01:25:50,015 --> 01:25:52,423 ♪ Mis-teeq made no money and life sure was slow 1141 01:25:52,476 --> 01:25:54,682 ♪ And all they said was five-eight we stood 1142 01:25:54,728 --> 01:25:57,100 ♪ And people thought the music that we made was good 1143 01:25:57,147 --> 01:25:59,473 ♪ There lived a DJ, PDS was his name 1144 01:25:59,525 --> 01:26:01,767 ♪ He came up to me and this is what he said 1145 01:26:01,819 --> 01:26:04,107 ♪ You and them girls are gonna make some cash 1146 01:26:04,154 --> 01:26:06,692 ♪ Sell a million records and we'll make it in a dash 1147 01:26:06,740 --> 01:26:08,982 ♪ Whoa, l'm buzzin' because 1148 01:26:09,034 --> 01:26:10,778 ♪ This is how we do it 1149 01:26:10,828 --> 01:26:13,615 ♪ South Central does it like nobody does 1150 01:26:13,664 --> 01:26:15,621 ♪ This is how we do it 1151 01:26:15,666 --> 01:26:18,287 ♪ L-O-N-D-O-N 1152 01:26:18,335 --> 01:26:20,375 ♪ This is how we do it 1153 01:26:20,421 --> 01:26:22,994 ♪ l'll never come back on an old school track 1154 01:26:23,048 --> 01:26:24,922 ♪ This is how we do it 1155 01:26:24,967 --> 01:26:27,292 ♪ l'm kinda buzzin' and it's all because 1156 01:26:27,344 --> 01:26:29,301 ♪ This is how we do it 1157 01:26:29,346 --> 01:26:32,347 ♪ South Central does it like nobody does 1158 01:26:32,391 --> 01:26:34,300 ♪ This is how we do it 1159 01:26:34,351 --> 01:26:36,889 ♪ To all my neighbours, you got much flava 1160 01:26:36,937 --> 01:26:38,645 ♪ This is how we do it 1161 01:26:38,689 --> 01:26:41,606 ♪ So flip the track, bring the old school back 1162 01:26:41,650 --> 01:26:43,524 ♪ This is how we do it 1163 01:26:43,569 --> 01:26:48,030 ♪ This is how we do it ♪ This is how we do it 1164 01:26:48,073 --> 01:26:52,735 ♪ Mis-teeq does it like nobody does ♪ This is how we do it 1165 01:26:52,786 --> 01:26:55,491 ♪ To all my neighbours, you got much flava 1166 01:26:55,539 --> 01:26:57,448 ♪ This is how we do it 1167 01:26:57,499 --> 01:27:00,251 ♪ We'll never come back on an old school track 1168 01:27:00,294 --> 01:27:03,663 ♪ This is how we do it ♪